Well, here it is... the long- awaited milestone I have been prepping for quite some time. I wake up thanks to a distant, familiar sounding noise that quickly brings a smile to my face... a personalized ring tone from the keeper of my heart, singing a lovely rendition of "Las Mañanitas!" Smile...
Debating on how to approach this post, and realizing that I hadn't posted since my stress-induced visit to the cardiac doc, all I can think of writing about is how thankful I am of where I am today, right here, right now... mentally, emotionally, spiritually, mind you. Physical presence, I have learned the last few years, is just that... physical.
I chuckle while memories flash in my head, like a movie playing highlighting the most important moments, made up of lessons from the past decade... Here are some of them, a summary if you will, wrapped in what I took from each of them in order to get to now, to this morning, on my 40th birthday.
At 30, I looked at my life with rose-colored glasses and all was good... My two year old boy was my reason to be... Lesson: Self-less love
At 31, recalling telling friends "it's all down hill from now"; feeling eerie about looming changes in the air and was part of a daily struggle, but I kept on... Lesson: face confusion and uncertainty head on.
At 32, big changes, big moves and a re-kindled love for everything teaching and educating helps redefine me. Lesson: Flexibility and possibility.
At 33, slowly, a veil starts to lift to help me see many things clearer. Lesson: Accept those for who they are not matter how it may affect you directly.
At 34, crossroads and more decisions to make. Lesson: Never burn a bridge professionally when your heart tells you not to, even if people do.
At 35, disappointed with reality and situations, low point and lonely. Lesson: GO HOME for Christmas! ;)
At 36, new paths are approaching and professional development takes the front seat, while enabling opportunities for the kiddo and for me. Lesson: If you are intuitive and you know it, LISTEN to your gut, it will NEVER fail you. And if you don't... listen to the 9 yr old... he can be very wise in his short stature, like Yoda. ;)
At 37, some walls come down, the heart beats a bit faster, yet uncertain of the reason. Optical illusions shaped as walls that used to become doors and be wide open for me to enter before, don't; no one answers. Lesson: No matter how many times you knock on some walls, they never turned into doors. Get the hint. MOVE ON!
At 38, the heart beats again, the child grows more independent and the simpler things in life take the front seat in the adventure called life. A newly rekindled love affair with a campfire burns and memories of the outdoors, the ocean come rushing back practically scolding me for almost forgetting them in the vault labeled as "memories of the life you should have according to everything except you." Lesson: Embrace those memories and use that voice to speak the truth in love and life, even if some people don't appreciate where you are coming from.
At 39, new blessings in my life, personally; new challenges professionally. Both pushing me in a direction more clearer, straightforward and transparent than ever before. Decisions taken to make the best of situations, regardless of what the situation is...I am who I am...who God made me, and I won't apologize for that. I have a mission on this Earth to fulfill and I am ready. Lesson: Be honest with yourself and let God take some of the stress off your shoulders.. have faith and keep on.
Finally, I look back at the last few weeks, specifically, now that I celebrate turning the big 4-0, I am grateful for... friends and family who have been there for me, NO MATTER WHAT, cheering me on, while being loving and challenging at the same time. For those who I have struggled with, professionally and personally... I apologize for the misunderstandings; they meant to harm. Truthfully, the person I need to forgive is myself, for in some of those misunderstandings, I was too hard on me when it was not necessary. I release all of that into divine love and gratitude...
Thank you life for the lessons... thank you for the good times, but especially for the lessons. They have made me a better person, open, loving, patient (that should bring a chuckle to some!;)).
Forty, you come on a Friday and it will be Fabulous.