Perhaps one of my favorite places to spend time at is a coffee shop. In between student counseling sessions, I pause to check Facebook. Everyone posts on how today is the last day of 2014, the last page of the book that is that last year in our lives, and reminders of the opportunity that tomorrow will bring: a new year begins, a new book to start writing the epic novel that is life; a blank canvas to paint a colorful image morphed into something stemmed from our minds and thoughts...
If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, right??
Here's my third December 31, new year's eve post on my blog. All three might sound the same if you flip back and read, but I can guarantee one thing: I am not the same person. And that is OK.
This year, 2014, has been quite fascinating. Yes, fascinating is the first word that came to mind. The word is appropriate because it can be both equally, shimmering in all things positive as well as the challenging. Of course, by challenging, I embrace challenges as lessons, needed as they are at first rejected. Bring them on, for that is how we learn and be better; how I learn and become a better version of myself.
Along with the given (NOT to be taken for granted) blessings in my life, my loved ones and family, my friends, old and new, the year brought with it a reminder of who I am, who I have always been and who I am meant to be. It was a great reminder, that while it may have come with a tiny bit of pain, it has been worth it...
So, what did I remember I had not quite forgotten, but appreciated a reminder about?? ;)
I am in love with education, higher education to be exact. I need intellectual stimulation, so knowledge, you will be nurtured more. I am passionate about sharing my knowledge and experiences with others, students, adults, whoever. I put others' needs before mine and (as the reminder, reminded me) got a little sick along the way... No bueno! ;) Got over it, moving on. Like I wrote on my 40th birthday, it's OK to be a little self-caring at times, and it is NOT being selfish if you need to take care of yourself in other to take care of others. Caso Cerrado!
Careers shifted, passions reignited and risks are being taken. I am a heart-felt, emotional piece of Puerto Ricanness that will NOT omit my natural "me" regardless of where I live and where I work. While I am a careful and meticulous planner, I stepped out my comfort zone and decided to take one day at a time... OMG, it's oh so scary, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I had grown content, complacent and, dare I admit, jaded. That's NOT me. Life is for living, as my Camp Horizons boss always said... Every day is a gift. Every day brings new challenges and blessings, equally... The question is and will always be... how will I react and handle them?
PAUSE if you need a break if this post turns overly positive. Sorry, but I am not sorry. Positive is what I am, is how I feel and how I need to face the rest of my days, NO MATTER what 2015, or any new day, year, may bring. Is it easy? Hell no. The truth is I HAVE NO CHOICE. Yes, we have a choice in how we react to actions, words, circumstances. My choice is not to have a choice but be positive. I make a promise to you, the world, the Universe and to all that is holy, to face whatever this year brings with the best attitude possible and to channel thoughts through the tunnel of love. Why?
Why not....
I wish the same to you all.... Let this year be the most positive year, wherever we are, whatever we do, whoever we are. Happy 2015!
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Tuesday, December 16, 2014
Thoughts...
My first post, a little over two years ago, was all about processing a million thoughts in my head. It seems there's a massive gathering of people all wanting my attention at the same time. Hmm, it looks as if this year's meeting is taking place whether I like it or not, when I so politely declined the invitation to attend... Right.
The colorful array of thoughts represent different types of people. Those in attendance represent the "to-do list" or the mom-types, smothering, controlling, loving tough. Others are the overly-emotional, letting the heart sucker-punch the mind so emotions can flow (too much at times), just to turn around and allow the mind to embrace it with thoughts of fear and worry. In comes the confident, no-nonsense "I am stronger than this" thought, as the peace maker. Her voice trying to speak firm, but kindly and loud enough she can be heard and hopefully, bring consensus to this gathering. In the corner, the intellectual stands quietly observing what's going on, analyzing, assessing the situation to see if the heart and the mind, the most powerful vessels of thoughts can agree to disagree. And move on.
Think of these types of thoughts, as member chapters representing the different thoughts that mosey on into our minds when something happened, happens or is about to happen. Each chapter has over 50 members. Quite crowded for my mind... ;) but what can we, I, do about it? Can I attempt to be diplomatic and ask them to find another mind to clutter, especially, before 4:00 a.m. Sigh... Well, let's take a stab at this...
It's the holiday season. Christmas is coming. Advent to some of us, Catholics, is a time to wait, anticipate the "good news" to come in the shape of a baby. A new life, a new hope, a new future. Ok, yeah, we know that. What about the now, and the million thoughts in my head fighting for my attention, right here? Right now. What does that have to do with all of this? --- Queue thoughts talking to themselves- in my head. ;)
"We need to do our best to take one thing at a time. To speak, one at a time; be heard, listened to, one at a time. There's no need to worry --yes, I am looking at you, worrier-- take one thing at time and accept that what you see is what you get. If it's not there, if it hasn't happened, don't worry. If you don't hear it, see it, it's OK. Some things are meant to just be... so let it go. Each and everyone of us is causing anxiety by fighting for room in Jess' mind. We need to know our boundaries. We need to cut her a little slack and tone it down a notch. Perhaps, mom-type, relax a bit, while staying firm about the kid's school year. It's slowly getting better. We know you care about that, but relax.
No-nonsense and intellectual decide to work together and to ease the job situation and enable Jess to take advantage of the here and now, go with the flow and see where the universe will lead. Enjoy the time, the present, for it may not be as flexible in the future. And even if there's too much of it and you feel like you need to stay busy, that's OK. This time is yours and yours alone. Use it wisely."
The heart (thoughts) and the mind (thoughts) were staring at each other, like a duel at high noon where cowboys were locked in sight, sweating pouring down their faces waiting to see who would shoot first. The room went silent. Jess' mind quiet for the first time in at least a month. Waiting.
The mind held its hand up like asking for truce. Walked straight up to the heart and said it was sorry. The heart just listened. Said nothing. "I am so sorry for cluttering your judgment and taking advantage of your sensitivity. My negative side wanted to camp out, and stay. So much has happened and since you always win, I wanted to one-up you. I promise to let my positive side take over and allow you to be who you are, and if you allow me, help you channel emotions rationally and not as emotionally as usual. I am not perfect, but I will do my best to protect you from my negative side, especially now, at Christmas. This is my promise and my renewal to you."
The heart, stunned at what she had heard, responded in a calm, collected manner when let's admit it, everyone expected the tears to flow, like a waterfall in Niagara.
"Thank you. I appreciate everything you do for me. I am sorry for allowing the unnecessary stress come between us. We need to work together. To better communicate and to understand where each of us is coming from. I have allowed you to come into Jess' mind and forget I am here. I am not saying you can't come in at all, on the contrary. Please do, let's sit by the fire. But, I am glad you said your negative side will not overpower your positive side. It has devastating consequences and the fact is that I am frail. I think we all are, where the heart is concerned. However, don't underestimate my power, for I come from a line of folks that are all heart, and while we need to tone-it down and control the intensity of our blood-pumping power, we must protect Jess and not over do it. My promise to you is to stay in check. Not to change who I am and how I function, but to be more aware and balance the emotion part of our partnership. Key word is partnership. I am also not perfect and I know when I have to say I am sorry. I am whole-heartedly - chuckle for pun ;) - sorry for doing my own thing and not letting you join in the conversation, even if we agree to disagree. I will from now on allow you to be part of the conversation and decision making process for Jess, as long as it's your positive side. I will listen and respect where you are coming from. I will beat strong and loving for you, for our partnership. This is my renewal and promise to you."
And with that, all thoughts looks at each other and together left the cluttered space that was my mind for peaceful flows of fresh air to breeze through...
Wow, folks, I've been up since 3:30 a.m. I haven't had my coffee (catastrophic GASP!!!!) but I am wide away, and I am OK. Thank you for allowing me to help my many thoughts chill for a bit, and express themselves. They were too loud and they needed a time-out. Funny, as I am processing everything I wrote, I realized, all they needed was probably to be listened to. I gave them space, a little attention by putting them into writing so I can let them go... and flow and move on.
It is the holiday season. Indeed a time for renewal, to be grateful. A time for patience in the middle of stress, reflection and pause in the midst of uncertainty. But most of all, it is a time of hope, faith and love. I have asked my thoughts, all different types of thoughts, from emotional to rational, that moving forward they always remember this conversation they had with each other and the consensus they came to. Their promise to work together in hope, faith and love... May we all have the blessing and opportunity to pause and reflect, assess what's going on in our lives, learn from it and move on in hope, faith and love...
Half an hour more and Starbucks opens... ;) Have a wonderful day.
The colorful array of thoughts represent different types of people. Those in attendance represent the "to-do list" or the mom-types, smothering, controlling, loving tough. Others are the overly-emotional, letting the heart sucker-punch the mind so emotions can flow (too much at times), just to turn around and allow the mind to embrace it with thoughts of fear and worry. In comes the confident, no-nonsense "I am stronger than this" thought, as the peace maker. Her voice trying to speak firm, but kindly and loud enough she can be heard and hopefully, bring consensus to this gathering. In the corner, the intellectual stands quietly observing what's going on, analyzing, assessing the situation to see if the heart and the mind, the most powerful vessels of thoughts can agree to disagree. And move on.
Think of these types of thoughts, as member chapters representing the different thoughts that mosey on into our minds when something happened, happens or is about to happen. Each chapter has over 50 members. Quite crowded for my mind... ;) but what can we, I, do about it? Can I attempt to be diplomatic and ask them to find another mind to clutter, especially, before 4:00 a.m. Sigh... Well, let's take a stab at this...
It's the holiday season. Christmas is coming. Advent to some of us, Catholics, is a time to wait, anticipate the "good news" to come in the shape of a baby. A new life, a new hope, a new future. Ok, yeah, we know that. What about the now, and the million thoughts in my head fighting for my attention, right here? Right now. What does that have to do with all of this? --- Queue thoughts talking to themselves- in my head. ;)
"We need to do our best to take one thing at a time. To speak, one at a time; be heard, listened to, one at a time. There's no need to worry --yes, I am looking at you, worrier-- take one thing at time and accept that what you see is what you get. If it's not there, if it hasn't happened, don't worry. If you don't hear it, see it, it's OK. Some things are meant to just be... so let it go. Each and everyone of us is causing anxiety by fighting for room in Jess' mind. We need to know our boundaries. We need to cut her a little slack and tone it down a notch. Perhaps, mom-type, relax a bit, while staying firm about the kid's school year. It's slowly getting better. We know you care about that, but relax.
No-nonsense and intellectual decide to work together and to ease the job situation and enable Jess to take advantage of the here and now, go with the flow and see where the universe will lead. Enjoy the time, the present, for it may not be as flexible in the future. And even if there's too much of it and you feel like you need to stay busy, that's OK. This time is yours and yours alone. Use it wisely."
The heart (thoughts) and the mind (thoughts) were staring at each other, like a duel at high noon where cowboys were locked in sight, sweating pouring down their faces waiting to see who would shoot first. The room went silent. Jess' mind quiet for the first time in at least a month. Waiting.
The mind held its hand up like asking for truce. Walked straight up to the heart and said it was sorry. The heart just listened. Said nothing. "I am so sorry for cluttering your judgment and taking advantage of your sensitivity. My negative side wanted to camp out, and stay. So much has happened and since you always win, I wanted to one-up you. I promise to let my positive side take over and allow you to be who you are, and if you allow me, help you channel emotions rationally and not as emotionally as usual. I am not perfect, but I will do my best to protect you from my negative side, especially now, at Christmas. This is my promise and my renewal to you."
The heart, stunned at what she had heard, responded in a calm, collected manner when let's admit it, everyone expected the tears to flow, like a waterfall in Niagara.
"Thank you. I appreciate everything you do for me. I am sorry for allowing the unnecessary stress come between us. We need to work together. To better communicate and to understand where each of us is coming from. I have allowed you to come into Jess' mind and forget I am here. I am not saying you can't come in at all, on the contrary. Please do, let's sit by the fire. But, I am glad you said your negative side will not overpower your positive side. It has devastating consequences and the fact is that I am frail. I think we all are, where the heart is concerned. However, don't underestimate my power, for I come from a line of folks that are all heart, and while we need to tone-it down and control the intensity of our blood-pumping power, we must protect Jess and not over do it. My promise to you is to stay in check. Not to change who I am and how I function, but to be more aware and balance the emotion part of our partnership. Key word is partnership. I am also not perfect and I know when I have to say I am sorry. I am whole-heartedly - chuckle for pun ;) - sorry for doing my own thing and not letting you join in the conversation, even if we agree to disagree. I will from now on allow you to be part of the conversation and decision making process for Jess, as long as it's your positive side. I will listen and respect where you are coming from. I will beat strong and loving for you, for our partnership. This is my renewal and promise to you."
And with that, all thoughts looks at each other and together left the cluttered space that was my mind for peaceful flows of fresh air to breeze through...
Wow, folks, I've been up since 3:30 a.m. I haven't had my coffee (catastrophic GASP!!!!) but I am wide away, and I am OK. Thank you for allowing me to help my many thoughts chill for a bit, and express themselves. They were too loud and they needed a time-out. Funny, as I am processing everything I wrote, I realized, all they needed was probably to be listened to. I gave them space, a little attention by putting them into writing so I can let them go... and flow and move on.
It is the holiday season. Indeed a time for renewal, to be grateful. A time for patience in the middle of stress, reflection and pause in the midst of uncertainty. But most of all, it is a time of hope, faith and love. I have asked my thoughts, all different types of thoughts, from emotional to rational, that moving forward they always remember this conversation they had with each other and the consensus they came to. Their promise to work together in hope, faith and love... May we all have the blessing and opportunity to pause and reflect, assess what's going on in our lives, learn from it and move on in hope, faith and love...
Half an hour more and Starbucks opens... ;) Have a wonderful day.
Monday, December 8, 2014
Simple nudges we can't take for granted...
Simple nudges we can't take for granted...
T'was February 1998 and while the cast ate, not an eye I found staring, not even my date....
LOL, I crack myself up. That's it for the "Night Before Christmas" reference, for this Rican will admit not knowing how the rest goes... just thought it was fun to start that way.
Anyway, what happened February 1998, was pretty cool, at least for me. My cast of 160 plus people, were either enjoying dinner, doing a last sound and light check on stage, getting their make-up and hair done or signing up on the following day's bus date schedule. UP WITH PEOPLE reference for you, mere mortals, you haven't had the blessing, pleasure and honor to know and be part of this amazing organization that gave me the world and so much more...
While all that was swiftly taking place, I snuck out and ran. The show was to start about an hour and half later, and I didn't feel like eating dinner. I wanted to work out. Hmmm, where to go. We are in a high school, somewhere in Florida, and for obvious reasons I didn't have access to the students' gym.
Alas, I went outside and saw the track, and jackpot! The gate was open. I began my sprint...
For all who've known me for years may see that if there's a remote physical resemblance to my mother now, it was never there when I was little. I was chubby and I knew it... I was chubby and I was told, over and over and over again. En español, "ay, estas goooorda." Well, after those awkward years of 12-14 came high school, then college... and the freshman 15, or what it 50? Ask my roommates.
Why write about this? Simple, I am not gorda anymore, but the sting of the comments when I was growing up lingered. This is not an entry about eating disorders or joining the track team. The lesson I want to share is, be kind and watch what and how you say things when addressing another person, your loved one, a child.
Eventually, I had to learn to tune out negative comments and make peace with me and who I am, I got over it. Unfortunately, as I grew out of the "taking it in the face" stage and began to defend myself, at times, even explain myself, and didn't always watch how I was saying what I was saying. I have learned to watch what I say, when I say what I have to say... tongue twisted already? ;) In other words, think a little bit harder before we, I speak.
My son, as a pre-adolescent, hormones out of whack, but magnificent, big-hearted boy, reminds me, "No offence, Mama, but you need to zip it"--- that's when I know I have said enough, or perhaps, I have said something in a way I shouldn't. Thanks, kid, for in the midst of juggling so many balls in the air, the main one labeled "speak from a place of love" slips and I have to quickly find my own balance in order to keep the juggling going.
Back to running... I now have developed an interest and actually, enjoy, a sprint or a jog on almost a daily basis. I do it for my health. I do it because it keeps me fit and I do it because I feel GREAT afterwards, actually happy. There are no plans to join a club, or gym, or to run a marathon anytime soon. My body responds well to this and it shows.
All of this relates, mind you. The running helps me stay in shape and my ticker ticking. I feel good, and I look good. It makes me happy and others around me see it, actually benefit from it. ;) Recently, I was TOLD, you "need" to go for your run... ;) AND all was well afterwards.
Turning 40 has been more eye opening than just adding more anti-wrinkle cream to my maintenance routine. It's been only a month and a day since I began this new decade, which I have stated before, is regarded as the best for women!!! Already I have been reminded of love, friendship, family, and so many blessings to be grateful for. It also has pinched and nudged me not to raise my voice when it is unnecessary, to be patient and not to worry so much about little things that may be little to everyone, except to me, and to always, always speak from a place of love, even when what I am facing a challenge. Another great reminder, which never hurts to hear, is that if a mistake is made, a cruel word is spoken or in an unloving way, own it and apologize and speak from a place of love. Never take for granted those who stand by you, who love you and tell you. They are still around because they do care, for reals. :)
We've dwelled enough... The lesson is simple and a positive one. Well, maybe two lessons braided into one: do what it takes to feel good, healthy, and happy, for it will only allow you to love, act, BE and speak in love.
LOL, I crack myself up. That's it for the "Night Before Christmas" reference, for this Rican will admit not knowing how the rest goes... just thought it was fun to start that way.
Anyway, what happened February 1998, was pretty cool, at least for me. My cast of 160 plus people, were either enjoying dinner, doing a last sound and light check on stage, getting their make-up and hair done or signing up on the following day's bus date schedule. UP WITH PEOPLE reference for you, mere mortals, you haven't had the blessing, pleasure and honor to know and be part of this amazing organization that gave me the world and so much more...
While all that was swiftly taking place, I snuck out and ran. The show was to start about an hour and half later, and I didn't feel like eating dinner. I wanted to work out. Hmmm, where to go. We are in a high school, somewhere in Florida, and for obvious reasons I didn't have access to the students' gym.
Alas, I went outside and saw the track, and jackpot! The gate was open. I began my sprint...
For all who've known me for years may see that if there's a remote physical resemblance to my mother now, it was never there when I was little. I was chubby and I knew it... I was chubby and I was told, over and over and over again. En español, "ay, estas goooorda." Well, after those awkward years of 12-14 came high school, then college... and the freshman 15, or what it 50? Ask my roommates.
Why write about this? Simple, I am not gorda anymore, but the sting of the comments when I was growing up lingered. This is not an entry about eating disorders or joining the track team. The lesson I want to share is, be kind and watch what and how you say things when addressing another person, your loved one, a child.
Eventually, I had to learn to tune out negative comments and make peace with me and who I am, I got over it. Unfortunately, as I grew out of the "taking it in the face" stage and began to defend myself, at times, even explain myself, and didn't always watch how I was saying what I was saying. I have learned to watch what I say, when I say what I have to say... tongue twisted already? ;) In other words, think a little bit harder before we, I speak.
My son, as a pre-adolescent, hormones out of whack, but magnificent, big-hearted boy, reminds me, "No offence, Mama, but you need to zip it"--- that's when I know I have said enough, or perhaps, I have said something in a way I shouldn't. Thanks, kid, for in the midst of juggling so many balls in the air, the main one labeled "speak from a place of love" slips and I have to quickly find my own balance in order to keep the juggling going.
Back to running... I now have developed an interest and actually, enjoy, a sprint or a jog on almost a daily basis. I do it for my health. I do it because it keeps me fit and I do it because I feel GREAT afterwards, actually happy. There are no plans to join a club, or gym, or to run a marathon anytime soon. My body responds well to this and it shows.
All of this relates, mind you. The running helps me stay in shape and my ticker ticking. I feel good, and I look good. It makes me happy and others around me see it, actually benefit from it. ;) Recently, I was TOLD, you "need" to go for your run... ;) AND all was well afterwards.
Turning 40 has been more eye opening than just adding more anti-wrinkle cream to my maintenance routine. It's been only a month and a day since I began this new decade, which I have stated before, is regarded as the best for women!!! Already I have been reminded of love, friendship, family, and so many blessings to be grateful for. It also has pinched and nudged me not to raise my voice when it is unnecessary, to be patient and not to worry so much about little things that may be little to everyone, except to me, and to always, always speak from a place of love, even when what I am facing a challenge. Another great reminder, which never hurts to hear, is that if a mistake is made, a cruel word is spoken or in an unloving way, own it and apologize and speak from a place of love. Never take for granted those who stand by you, who love you and tell you. They are still around because they do care, for reals. :)
We've dwelled enough... The lesson is simple and a positive one. Well, maybe two lessons braided into one: do what it takes to feel good, healthy, and happy, for it will only allow you to love, act, BE and speak in love.
Friday, November 7, 2014
Fabulous, Forty on a Friday!!
Well, here it is... the long- awaited milestone I have been prepping for quite some time. I wake up thanks to a distant, familiar sounding noise that quickly brings a smile to my face... a personalized ring tone from the keeper of my heart, singing a lovely rendition of "Las Mañanitas!" Smile...
Debating on how to approach this post, and realizing that I hadn't posted since my stress-induced visit to the cardiac doc, all I can think of writing about is how thankful I am of where I am today, right here, right now... mentally, emotionally, spiritually, mind you. Physical presence, I have learned the last few years, is just that... physical.
I chuckle while memories flash in my head, like a movie playing highlighting the most important moments, made up of lessons from the past decade... Here are some of them, a summary if you will, wrapped in what I took from each of them in order to get to now, to this morning, on my 40th birthday.
At 30, I looked at my life with rose-colored glasses and all was good... My two year old boy was my reason to be... Lesson: Self-less love
At 31, recalling telling friends "it's all down hill from now"; feeling eerie about looming changes in the air and was part of a daily struggle, but I kept on... Lesson: face confusion and uncertainty head on.
At 32, big changes, big moves and a re-kindled love for everything teaching and educating helps redefine me. Lesson: Flexibility and possibility.
At 33, slowly, a veil starts to lift to help me see many things clearer. Lesson: Accept those for who they are not matter how it may affect you directly.
At 34, crossroads and more decisions to make. Lesson: Never burn a bridge professionally when your heart tells you not to, even if people do.
At 35, disappointed with reality and situations, low point and lonely. Lesson: GO HOME for Christmas! ;)
At 36, new paths are approaching and professional development takes the front seat, while enabling opportunities for the kiddo and for me. Lesson: If you are intuitive and you know it, LISTEN to your gut, it will NEVER fail you. And if you don't... listen to the 9 yr old... he can be very wise in his short stature, like Yoda. ;)
At 37, some walls come down, the heart beats a bit faster, yet uncertain of the reason. Optical illusions shaped as walls that used to become doors and be wide open for me to enter before, don't; no one answers. Lesson: No matter how many times you knock on some walls, they never turned into doors. Get the hint. MOVE ON!
At 38, the heart beats again, the child grows more independent and the simpler things in life take the front seat in the adventure called life. A newly rekindled love affair with a campfire burns and memories of the outdoors, the ocean come rushing back practically scolding me for almost forgetting them in the vault labeled as "memories of the life you should have according to everything except you." Lesson: Embrace those memories and use that voice to speak the truth in love and life, even if some people don't appreciate where you are coming from.
At 39, new blessings in my life, personally; new challenges professionally. Both pushing me in a direction more clearer, straightforward and transparent than ever before. Decisions taken to make the best of situations, regardless of what the situation is...I am who I am...who God made me, and I won't apologize for that. I have a mission on this Earth to fulfill and I am ready. Lesson: Be honest with yourself and let God take some of the stress off your shoulders.. have faith and keep on.
Finally, I look back at the last few weeks, specifically, now that I celebrate turning the big 4-0, I am grateful for... friends and family who have been there for me, NO MATTER WHAT, cheering me on, while being loving and challenging at the same time. For those who I have struggled with, professionally and personally... I apologize for the misunderstandings; they meant to harm. Truthfully, the person I need to forgive is myself, for in some of those misunderstandings, I was too hard on me when it was not necessary. I release all of that into divine love and gratitude...
Thank you life for the lessons... thank you for the good times, but especially for the lessons. They have made me a better person, open, loving, patient (that should bring a chuckle to some!;)).
Forty, you come on a Friday and it will be Fabulous.
Debating on how to approach this post, and realizing that I hadn't posted since my stress-induced visit to the cardiac doc, all I can think of writing about is how thankful I am of where I am today, right here, right now... mentally, emotionally, spiritually, mind you. Physical presence, I have learned the last few years, is just that... physical.
I chuckle while memories flash in my head, like a movie playing highlighting the most important moments, made up of lessons from the past decade... Here are some of them, a summary if you will, wrapped in what I took from each of them in order to get to now, to this morning, on my 40th birthday.
At 30, I looked at my life with rose-colored glasses and all was good... My two year old boy was my reason to be... Lesson: Self-less love
At 31, recalling telling friends "it's all down hill from now"; feeling eerie about looming changes in the air and was part of a daily struggle, but I kept on... Lesson: face confusion and uncertainty head on.
At 32, big changes, big moves and a re-kindled love for everything teaching and educating helps redefine me. Lesson: Flexibility and possibility.
At 33, slowly, a veil starts to lift to help me see many things clearer. Lesson: Accept those for who they are not matter how it may affect you directly.
At 34, crossroads and more decisions to make. Lesson: Never burn a bridge professionally when your heart tells you not to, even if people do.
At 35, disappointed with reality and situations, low point and lonely. Lesson: GO HOME for Christmas! ;)
At 36, new paths are approaching and professional development takes the front seat, while enabling opportunities for the kiddo and for me. Lesson: If you are intuitive and you know it, LISTEN to your gut, it will NEVER fail you. And if you don't... listen to the 9 yr old... he can be very wise in his short stature, like Yoda. ;)
At 37, some walls come down, the heart beats a bit faster, yet uncertain of the reason. Optical illusions shaped as walls that used to become doors and be wide open for me to enter before, don't; no one answers. Lesson: No matter how many times you knock on some walls, they never turned into doors. Get the hint. MOVE ON!
At 38, the heart beats again, the child grows more independent and the simpler things in life take the front seat in the adventure called life. A newly rekindled love affair with a campfire burns and memories of the outdoors, the ocean come rushing back practically scolding me for almost forgetting them in the vault labeled as "memories of the life you should have according to everything except you." Lesson: Embrace those memories and use that voice to speak the truth in love and life, even if some people don't appreciate where you are coming from.
At 39, new blessings in my life, personally; new challenges professionally. Both pushing me in a direction more clearer, straightforward and transparent than ever before. Decisions taken to make the best of situations, regardless of what the situation is...I am who I am...who God made me, and I won't apologize for that. I have a mission on this Earth to fulfill and I am ready. Lesson: Be honest with yourself and let God take some of the stress off your shoulders.. have faith and keep on.
Finally, I look back at the last few weeks, specifically, now that I celebrate turning the big 4-0, I am grateful for... friends and family who have been there for me, NO MATTER WHAT, cheering me on, while being loving and challenging at the same time. For those who I have struggled with, professionally and personally... I apologize for the misunderstandings; they meant to harm. Truthfully, the person I need to forgive is myself, for in some of those misunderstandings, I was too hard on me when it was not necessary. I release all of that into divine love and gratitude...
Thank you life for the lessons... thank you for the good times, but especially for the lessons. They have made me a better person, open, loving, patient (that should bring a chuckle to some!;)).
Forty, you come on a Friday and it will be Fabulous.
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
Eat, pray, love... be happy, just do it!
Another month goes by and I come closer to 40! It's coming, looming around the corner, when in my mind I still think I am a few years younger. Yes, I do feel like I am closer to 30, not 40, except for the much needed extra dose of anti-wrinkle cream and lower back pain. It's OK, if all else fails, I will spend a lovely evening happy hour with my besties from UD, AND a few days later, spend a glorious week at home with my loves.
If all else fails... Hmmm, "all" better not fail, as I quickly shush the negative thought in my mind and replace it with "IT ALL will work out for the BEST!"
The last few months have been trying, I will not sugarcoat it. A jump on an opportunity to challenge and educate me has turned into daily soul-sucking, stress induced chaos, with no leadership, vision. The misleading red flags so obvious since the beginning, now flow in my face, mocking my idealistic and Pollyanna-ish "it's just me, it'll be all be fine" optimism. With time, I told myself every morning, after a prayer of thanksgiving and gratitude for all I have, "it's just me, it'll all be fine."
Well, fast forward to yesterday, as I have to make an abrupt turn into Urgent Care before being sent to the ER for chest pains. The pressure was unbearable, and unfortunately, becoming a reoccurring incident, culminating in making a decision: fix it, do something about it, now, instead of hearing my voice, again, whisper "it's just me, it'll all be fine." Really, when? When the panic attack actually becomes the real deal? I don't think so... Life, MY life, is mine and mine only to treasure, guard with all my power and protect against the crazies that try to create unwanted drama and chaos around me.
Admittedly, I could have done a better job at wearing my bullet proof vest more often. I should have spoken up earlier--that's a tiny, little pattern I am working on-- and put a stop at the ludicrous behavior around me that can only be credited with providing sleepless nights and mood swings. Booo, I don't like myself like that. YUCK, I sound like other people I know. NO, I refuse to be like that or to turn into that person.
Health update: it's not cardiac, it's all, ALL, 100% stress related, which caused the anxiety/panic attack. Remedy: decompress... Easier said than done, right? How many of you have been told the same thing by your family doctor, or therapist, spouse, best friend. I wish I could just take a month off... do people even do that? ;)
Well, I am starting with baby steps... and a good talking to by friends and family that remind me (especially when I feel like I am facing the world alone) that I am loved and appreciated. Prayer and meditation have been true blessings. Time heals everything, so I decided to also be patient (ha, that's a joke for those who know me!) and take one day at a time.
None of this I learned overnight as I put into practice my newly prescribed recipe for de-stressing. I have been blessed with resources, mostly in person, along with some books and tools to help with stress...
Without going on and on with this entry, I will highlight perhaps a book that has defined a turning point in my "self-care" discovery. "Eat, Pray, Love" has been described as a woman's life's story from a very selfish and self-centered point of view. Well, newsflash, call me selfish and self-centered.
In a way, the hard way, the painful way, I have had to learn how to take care of me, myself, my soul, my heart, so I can be the smart, loving, professional, spiritual and faith-filled woman I have become. It does not come naturally, and it's not easy at times. My point is that in the novel, Liz gives everything up to go on a journey of self-discovery in order to self-care and heal. Throughout it, she learned to forgive and by forgiving others, she forgave herself for being too hard on her own self. Aren't we sometimes too hard on ourselves? Don't we criticize our looks, our skills (or lack thereof) our reactions to circumstances?? We must STOP. We need to love ourselves, and like ourselves, and laugh at ourselves, and appreciate all that makes us ourselves, US. :) When we master that art of self-love the revelation: we are all special and unique in our ways and being at peace, living in peace and in Divine Order, chaos and drama will slide off ourselves and not penetrate the shell of love that surrounds us. I am working on it.. can't wait. :)
It's late and I have homework to do (no, really, I do!)... but the best part is that it has everything to do with my passion, love and commitment to working with students in their journey to becoming professionals. That makes me happy...I "eat, pray, and love" - hehehe- working with students.
I have gone on quite a journey as I come closer to reaching the 40 milestone... and I look forward to the next 40 by finally realizing that self-care is not selfish or self-centered, it's nourishing of heart, body and soul AND, it's survival . Go out and eat, pray and love... be happy! :)
PS. Nothing is more important that your own inner peace and happiness. ;)
If all else fails... Hmmm, "all" better not fail, as I quickly shush the negative thought in my mind and replace it with "IT ALL will work out for the BEST!"
The last few months have been trying, I will not sugarcoat it. A jump on an opportunity to challenge and educate me has turned into daily soul-sucking, stress induced chaos, with no leadership, vision. The misleading red flags so obvious since the beginning, now flow in my face, mocking my idealistic and Pollyanna-ish "it's just me, it'll be all be fine" optimism. With time, I told myself every morning, after a prayer of thanksgiving and gratitude for all I have, "it's just me, it'll all be fine."
Well, fast forward to yesterday, as I have to make an abrupt turn into Urgent Care before being sent to the ER for chest pains. The pressure was unbearable, and unfortunately, becoming a reoccurring incident, culminating in making a decision: fix it, do something about it, now, instead of hearing my voice, again, whisper "it's just me, it'll all be fine." Really, when? When the panic attack actually becomes the real deal? I don't think so... Life, MY life, is mine and mine only to treasure, guard with all my power and protect against the crazies that try to create unwanted drama and chaos around me.
Admittedly, I could have done a better job at wearing my bullet proof vest more often. I should have spoken up earlier--that's a tiny, little pattern I am working on-- and put a stop at the ludicrous behavior around me that can only be credited with providing sleepless nights and mood swings. Booo, I don't like myself like that. YUCK, I sound like other people I know. NO, I refuse to be like that or to turn into that person.
Health update: it's not cardiac, it's all, ALL, 100% stress related, which caused the anxiety/panic attack. Remedy: decompress... Easier said than done, right? How many of you have been told the same thing by your family doctor, or therapist, spouse, best friend. I wish I could just take a month off... do people even do that? ;)
Well, I am starting with baby steps... and a good talking to by friends and family that remind me (especially when I feel like I am facing the world alone) that I am loved and appreciated. Prayer and meditation have been true blessings. Time heals everything, so I decided to also be patient (ha, that's a joke for those who know me!) and take one day at a time.
None of this I learned overnight as I put into practice my newly prescribed recipe for de-stressing. I have been blessed with resources, mostly in person, along with some books and tools to help with stress...
Without going on and on with this entry, I will highlight perhaps a book that has defined a turning point in my "self-care" discovery. "Eat, Pray, Love" has been described as a woman's life's story from a very selfish and self-centered point of view. Well, newsflash, call me selfish and self-centered.
In a way, the hard way, the painful way, I have had to learn how to take care of me, myself, my soul, my heart, so I can be the smart, loving, professional, spiritual and faith-filled woman I have become. It does not come naturally, and it's not easy at times. My point is that in the novel, Liz gives everything up to go on a journey of self-discovery in order to self-care and heal. Throughout it, she learned to forgive and by forgiving others, she forgave herself for being too hard on her own self. Aren't we sometimes too hard on ourselves? Don't we criticize our looks, our skills (or lack thereof) our reactions to circumstances?? We must STOP. We need to love ourselves, and like ourselves, and laugh at ourselves, and appreciate all that makes us ourselves, US. :) When we master that art of self-love the revelation: we are all special and unique in our ways and being at peace, living in peace and in Divine Order, chaos and drama will slide off ourselves and not penetrate the shell of love that surrounds us. I am working on it.. can't wait. :)
It's late and I have homework to do (no, really, I do!)... but the best part is that it has everything to do with my passion, love and commitment to working with students in their journey to becoming professionals. That makes me happy...I "eat, pray, and love" - hehehe- working with students.
I have gone on quite a journey as I come closer to reaching the 40 milestone... and I look forward to the next 40 by finally realizing that self-care is not selfish or self-centered, it's nourishing of heart, body and soul AND, it's survival . Go out and eat, pray and love... be happy! :)
PS. Nothing is more important that your own inner peace and happiness. ;)
Thursday, September 4, 2014
For love of the game... ;)
Apparently the first week in September, not only symbolizes the start of fall, Labor Day quickly remind those of us who reside in the good ol' US of A, that summer is over, but also that our summer TV routines, or lack there of, will now change. Catastrophic isn't it? Depends on how you look at it...
According to every other TV and radio ad/commercial and your Facebook newsfeed, disrespectfully saturated by status reports from friends, who aren't really friends, because what they are telling the world about is none other than the mere fact that football season is upon us...
Pause for dramatic reaction, which in my case, is silent... or perhaps, more along the lines of a womp womp.
Sorry, dears. I know, I know, the pigskin lovin', gridiron testosterone induced man-handling, is quite entertaining. Don't get me wrong, I have had to sit myself down and attempt to figure out what the point is.
After many attempts to follow wholeheartedly, I give up, while still smiling. The reason for the smile is to see and witness the unexplainable joy in the fan's face. At times it's my former roommates, my aunt or other friends who simply love a good football game. Me? Well, meh... I am content with celebrating vicariously through my friends' eyes and when it comes to football, that's enough for me...
Of course, disclaimer follows. Many of you may agree and feel the same way I feel about football. However, perhaps others among you would agree with my sentiments, say, about baseball or basketball. GASP. How can that be? LOL Well, bring it on. Thank goodness, we all have the liberty to choose to root for and become the no. 1 fan team or sport X ever had.
As long as I can remember, I have loved baseball. If any of you out there ever need someone to go to a game with or don't mind the often annoying sound of my voice when I yell at the TV (yes, I am holler at the TV kind-a girl), I am your gal. Hit me up and it will be fun, even if it's watching it on TV. From the 1986 Mets, to the 1998-99 Yankees, on to the Colorado Rockies, now "home" to St. Louis and my Cardinals, and a new found rising star in Toronto, our Japanese friend Kawasaki--if you have not done so, watch on YouTube interviews with Kawasaki. He is hilarious! For as long as I can remember, I have loved baseball. :)
From the rising excitement of spring training, to Opening Day, and holiday fireworks, to All Star Games and home run derbies, infield fly balls and double plays. From managers' hand signals and gestures, to tobacco chewing pitchers, Tim McCarvers and Keith Hernandez, sigh - first crush, a girl can't help herself. May we all enjoy a 7th inning stretch as this summer comes to an end and remember the days of pop corn, hotdogs and Bud Light, pretzels and peanuts, and cracker jacks. Let's root, root, root for the home team...
And, with a loud and obvious duh... as a proud, born and raised Puerto Rican, may the spirit of Roberto Clemente, who would have turned 80 this year, live on in the lives of our players who make us proud every day on and off the field.
So, football... come on, take over fall as you should. We get it. However, this girl loves her summer sport, maybe just like the next, and will patiently observe how the season ends and post-season fun begins. I haven't rooted too loud this summer, but that doesn't mean I was not watching.
PS. I will write about basketball and college hoops, my other favorite team sport where my commentary can provide as much entertainment from the bleachers (or the living room, or bar, or restaurant) as the players can on the court. ;)
According to every other TV and radio ad/commercial and your Facebook newsfeed, disrespectfully saturated by status reports from friends, who aren't really friends, because what they are telling the world about is none other than the mere fact that football season is upon us...
Pause for dramatic reaction, which in my case, is silent... or perhaps, more along the lines of a womp womp.
Sorry, dears. I know, I know, the pigskin lovin', gridiron testosterone induced man-handling, is quite entertaining. Don't get me wrong, I have had to sit myself down and attempt to figure out what the point is.
After many attempts to follow wholeheartedly, I give up, while still smiling. The reason for the smile is to see and witness the unexplainable joy in the fan's face. At times it's my former roommates, my aunt or other friends who simply love a good football game. Me? Well, meh... I am content with celebrating vicariously through my friends' eyes and when it comes to football, that's enough for me...
Of course, disclaimer follows. Many of you may agree and feel the same way I feel about football. However, perhaps others among you would agree with my sentiments, say, about baseball or basketball. GASP. How can that be? LOL Well, bring it on. Thank goodness, we all have the liberty to choose to root for and become the no. 1 fan team or sport X ever had.
As long as I can remember, I have loved baseball. If any of you out there ever need someone to go to a game with or don't mind the often annoying sound of my voice when I yell at the TV (yes, I am holler at the TV kind-a girl), I am your gal. Hit me up and it will be fun, even if it's watching it on TV. From the 1986 Mets, to the 1998-99 Yankees, on to the Colorado Rockies, now "home" to St. Louis and my Cardinals, and a new found rising star in Toronto, our Japanese friend Kawasaki--if you have not done so, watch on YouTube interviews with Kawasaki. He is hilarious! For as long as I can remember, I have loved baseball. :)
From the rising excitement of spring training, to Opening Day, and holiday fireworks, to All Star Games and home run derbies, infield fly balls and double plays. From managers' hand signals and gestures, to tobacco chewing pitchers, Tim McCarvers and Keith Hernandez, sigh - first crush, a girl can't help herself. May we all enjoy a 7th inning stretch as this summer comes to an end and remember the days of pop corn, hotdogs and Bud Light, pretzels and peanuts, and cracker jacks. Let's root, root, root for the home team...
And, with a loud and obvious duh... as a proud, born and raised Puerto Rican, may the spirit of Roberto Clemente, who would have turned 80 this year, live on in the lives of our players who make us proud every day on and off the field.
So, football... come on, take over fall as you should. We get it. However, this girl loves her summer sport, maybe just like the next, and will patiently observe how the season ends and post-season fun begins. I haven't rooted too loud this summer, but that doesn't mean I was not watching.
PS. I will write about basketball and college hoops, my other favorite team sport where my commentary can provide as much entertainment from the bleachers (or the living room, or bar, or restaurant) as the players can on the court. ;)
Sunday, August 17, 2014
Serving a colorful bowl of everything...
Yesterday's morning was brisk, cool and sunny with very low humidity. It felt like fall. The first thought, quickly embraced in the feeling of joy, bringing a smile to my face, only to be abruptly erased because of the obvious next one... I love fall, yet it only leads to winter. Womp womp.
Oh well, we will deal... :)
Cue the plethora of thoughts, i.e. a cornucopia, potpourri or alphabet soup of your choice. Thanks to the simple advice of a fellow academic, after complaining of suffering from writer's block, here I am. Writing...
Oh my, James Bond was just betrayed (or so he thinks!) by loyal M and the new Q looks like he graduated from high school. SMH. Where's John Cleese? At least he was funny, in his best Monty Python way, adding a bit of humor to the British sarcastic wit that comes with the legendary innovator. ---Clarification: Skyfall is playing in the background. I had to catch up with agent 007, for I lost track of him when he suddenly turned blonde again... Ah, but what a relief. He still sports his classic Walther PPK, although he has not yet ordered a vodka martini, shaken, NOT stirred.
Focus now, or you all will start questioning or not I have ADD... Mmmmaybe?! ;)
There is absolutely no rhyme or reason for this post, other than I felt like writing and there are many thoughts sprinting inside my head as if they were training for the Chicago marathon.
Isn't it hard sometimes to pick one thought to focus on? Only one feeling to experience and live? One moment or memory to remember? So many things in our lives are connected and seem almost impossible to separate and certainly, isolate. While we, as individuals often feel the need for isolation, perhaps for the sake of reflection, we are all connected. Hence, my current A-HA moment!
It's OK to feel different feelings at the same time, and OK to mix emotions. For example, one moment you are delighted while "virtually" celebrating a friend's birthday, immediately you switch to feeling sad because you are not there in person. It's OK. It's part of life. It's all connected.
No, the A-HA moment was not the realization itself, but the sense of peace, yes another emotion, added to the already colorful bowl of everything going through a heart and mind. It's OK. It's part of life, it's all connected... and I am OK with it. In other words, at this very moment, I sit typing this entry, while the kid is upstairs reading his new Marvel superhero book, I am feeling all kinds of things: proud as a mom, loved as a girlfriend, challenged as a daughter, supported as a friend and intellectually stimulated as a student of everything life and school has to offer.
I hope you all have the blessing to compartmentalize if you have the need; to isolate while connecting for your own peace of mind; to embrace what comes, and celebrate the intricacies that every day, the simplest or complex days, may bring. And that you do all of this with an open heart and from a place of love.
May all this help you enjoy a colorful bowl of everything as a new week begins... ;)
Oh well, we will deal... :)
Cue the plethora of thoughts, i.e. a cornucopia, potpourri or alphabet soup of your choice. Thanks to the simple advice of a fellow academic, after complaining of suffering from writer's block, here I am. Writing...
Oh my, James Bond was just betrayed (or so he thinks!) by loyal M and the new Q looks like he graduated from high school. SMH. Where's John Cleese? At least he was funny, in his best Monty Python way, adding a bit of humor to the British sarcastic wit that comes with the legendary innovator. ---Clarification: Skyfall is playing in the background. I had to catch up with agent 007, for I lost track of him when he suddenly turned blonde again... Ah, but what a relief. He still sports his classic Walther PPK, although he has not yet ordered a vodka martini, shaken, NOT stirred.
Focus now, or you all will start questioning or not I have ADD... Mmmmaybe?! ;)
There is absolutely no rhyme or reason for this post, other than I felt like writing and there are many thoughts sprinting inside my head as if they were training for the Chicago marathon.
Isn't it hard sometimes to pick one thought to focus on? Only one feeling to experience and live? One moment or memory to remember? So many things in our lives are connected and seem almost impossible to separate and certainly, isolate. While we, as individuals often feel the need for isolation, perhaps for the sake of reflection, we are all connected. Hence, my current A-HA moment!
It's OK to feel different feelings at the same time, and OK to mix emotions. For example, one moment you are delighted while "virtually" celebrating a friend's birthday, immediately you switch to feeling sad because you are not there in person. It's OK. It's part of life. It's all connected.
No, the A-HA moment was not the realization itself, but the sense of peace, yes another emotion, added to the already colorful bowl of everything going through a heart and mind. It's OK. It's part of life, it's all connected... and I am OK with it. In other words, at this very moment, I sit typing this entry, while the kid is upstairs reading his new Marvel superhero book, I am feeling all kinds of things: proud as a mom, loved as a girlfriend, challenged as a daughter, supported as a friend and intellectually stimulated as a student of everything life and school has to offer.
I hope you all have the blessing to compartmentalize if you have the need; to isolate while connecting for your own peace of mind; to embrace what comes, and celebrate the intricacies that every day, the simplest or complex days, may bring. And that you do all of this with an open heart and from a place of love.
May all this help you enjoy a colorful bowl of everything as a new week begins... ;)
Monday, July 14, 2014
Standing on Platform 39 and 3/4
As I wrapped up the day, which happens to be July 14, a historical day in Paris, also commonly known as Bastille Day, I came to only one basic and simple, yet thought provoking conclusion: today is my kid brother's birthday and if he is turning 38, this only means I will be 40 come November. GASP! ;)
Can I tell you that a few years ago I whole-heatedly believed that turning 40 would manifest the end of all existence for me, my own personified expiration date. I had other plan Bs in the works tucked away, just in case. Never the less, I am happy to report that I have not, nor will NOT expire on the 7th of November. On the contrary, I will celebrate life to the fullest. :)
I will toast my mother, who did not make it to 40, but now lives in eternal youth as a 36 yr old. I will celebrate my father and all that makes him unique in his gifts to the world. I will celebrate my brother- a toast to him today- and all the lovely (and not so lovely) memories of a childhood filled with laughter and Star Wars.
More than anything, though, as I begin this inventory of my life as a soon -to-be 40 yr old, I wanted to blog by perhaps over stating the obvious: saying thank you...
Thank you God, Jesus, Alah, Buddah, She-ra, He-man, Zeus and whoever is responsible for us mere mortals to walk this Earth... thank you...
For sunsets and sunrises... on the beach and in the mountains.
For fire that keeps us warm at night and ice that cools the heat in the summer months.
For the beach and the ocean, the waves and the sound, as they crash on the reef.
For schools, and books and people and places. Teachers all when some don't consider themselves educators, for we all learn something new even when we don't realize it.
For new opportunities in life and work... new doors, windows (insert whatever opening you want to use here!) or follow yellow brick roads that will lead you to your destiny, or new homes, old home, home-homes, OZ. ;) Don't forget to some times take the road less traveled... it may just make all the difference.
For laughter, for jokes and for the ability to NOT take life so seriously. To laugh at ourselves and to laugh WITH others and not AT others.
For patience and faith in those who turned their backs on us when we most needed them. For them, I smile, to them, I say hello, for the memories of the positive will always outweigh the negative.
For our kids, who grow up so fast and overnight remind us it's their turn to fly. We must do as our parents did for us... stand back and watch, with breathless, yet unconditional love and support.
For new love, hope and the chance we give ourselves at opening that very heart that has been on lockdown with a key that was cast away at sea. Thank goodness we found a way to make a copy of that key and unlock it again so it can receive and give love once more...
Finally, I am so grateful for the ability to let of go of stuff... yeah, just stuff that hung out and hovered, only to bring drama and sadness to my life. Be gone... bye bye, Life is so good, I am just letting it be and letting go of all that does not bring any joy to it. :) Life is really short, people. I was 12 yesterday, then this morning I was 21 and graduating from college. Now I am about to turn 40?? WTF?? ;)
There... not too bad for a Monday night. As I stand at Platform 39 and 3/4 waiting for my train so I can board on route to 40-Ville, I smile. To think I almost got caught in the griminess of daily stress. I stop... Smile again... and say thank you. :)
Can I tell you that a few years ago I whole-heatedly believed that turning 40 would manifest the end of all existence for me, my own personified expiration date. I had other plan Bs in the works tucked away, just in case. Never the less, I am happy to report that I have not, nor will NOT expire on the 7th of November. On the contrary, I will celebrate life to the fullest. :)
I will toast my mother, who did not make it to 40, but now lives in eternal youth as a 36 yr old. I will celebrate my father and all that makes him unique in his gifts to the world. I will celebrate my brother- a toast to him today- and all the lovely (and not so lovely) memories of a childhood filled with laughter and Star Wars.
More than anything, though, as I begin this inventory of my life as a soon -to-be 40 yr old, I wanted to blog by perhaps over stating the obvious: saying thank you...
Thank you God, Jesus, Alah, Buddah, She-ra, He-man, Zeus and whoever is responsible for us mere mortals to walk this Earth... thank you...
For sunsets and sunrises... on the beach and in the mountains.
For fire that keeps us warm at night and ice that cools the heat in the summer months.
For the beach and the ocean, the waves and the sound, as they crash on the reef.
For schools, and books and people and places. Teachers all when some don't consider themselves educators, for we all learn something new even when we don't realize it.
For new opportunities in life and work... new doors, windows (insert whatever opening you want to use here!) or follow yellow brick roads that will lead you to your destiny, or new homes, old home, home-homes, OZ. ;) Don't forget to some times take the road less traveled... it may just make all the difference.
For laughter, for jokes and for the ability to NOT take life so seriously. To laugh at ourselves and to laugh WITH others and not AT others.
For patience and faith in those who turned their backs on us when we most needed them. For them, I smile, to them, I say hello, for the memories of the positive will always outweigh the negative.
For our kids, who grow up so fast and overnight remind us it's their turn to fly. We must do as our parents did for us... stand back and watch, with breathless, yet unconditional love and support.
For new love, hope and the chance we give ourselves at opening that very heart that has been on lockdown with a key that was cast away at sea. Thank goodness we found a way to make a copy of that key and unlock it again so it can receive and give love once more...
Finally, I am so grateful for the ability to let of go of stuff... yeah, just stuff that hung out and hovered, only to bring drama and sadness to my life. Be gone... bye bye, Life is so good, I am just letting it be and letting go of all that does not bring any joy to it. :) Life is really short, people. I was 12 yesterday, then this morning I was 21 and graduating from college. Now I am about to turn 40?? WTF?? ;)
There... not too bad for a Monday night. As I stand at Platform 39 and 3/4 waiting for my train so I can board on route to 40-Ville, I smile. To think I almost got caught in the griminess of daily stress. I stop... Smile again... and say thank you. :)
Sunday, June 22, 2014
It's OK. Let it go...
Too many thoughts in my head. Where to start, I wonder.
Do I projectile vomit (sorry for the visual) and rant on the week's events like there's no ending in sight? Believe me, like the person next to me, stress and heartache can come in every shape and size to make your living life a bit difficult at times. NO. We, I, will not dwell on that. Why? Because it's not worth it.
We can spend our energy thinking and processing every minute of every hour analyzing and re-analyzing our very thoughts, behavior and choice of words. Exhausting, isn't it? I am tired just writing this sentence already. I admit I am sounding more like my last blog post on worrying. In other words and to recap, let's not worry about the worries of this past week.
Instead, let's focus on the positive. I for one am proud to own having embraced a new concept. It's like an old lesson we are taught early in life but we don't really appreciate or get until our mature years: the novel concept of letting go. Ha! Groundbreaking, right? ;) Well, for me it is, in a way. I have voluntarily let go of far more things than usual in the past few weeks, thanks to the help of my awesome spiritual healer, who reminded me of a few items in my luggage, pardon me, baggage, I should have let go a LONG time ago.
What have I let go you may be asking. Yeah, OK, OK, I'll tell you a few.. not all, for some are between me and my peeps "upstairs." My hope with this entry is, not for me to use it as a way of over expressing my own stuff, but to hopefully, be able to relate to many of you as fellow travelers in this incredible journey that is called life.
Ready? Here we go... I have let go of over- analyzing things. Whether it's the morning traffic, the overworked co-worked, the mean boss or the misunderstood friend, things happen. They happen and they have nothing to do with you. So why over-analyze it. Why stress about it. If you know it has nothing to do with you, or whatever is happening it is due to circumstances beyond your control, let it go. It's not you, it's that or them. Let it go.
I have let go of fear... well, not 100%, but I am getting much better at it. I mean, are we ever that brave that we are not afraid of anything in life? Some might be. I think I have been at times. All I know is that I am getting better at it. If you are afraid of something, face it. Look at it in the face, own it, live through it. Believe me, you will live to tell the tale. I have faced rejection, insecurity, pain and loss, being judged and hurt. I have had to look at it in the face. The walls and shield built to protect myself, my heart, my soul have been there in moments of need. Thank you Scarlett O'Hara. But, occasionally, the walls and shield must come down. The best thing to do after facing such fears: let it go, let them go.
INSERT commentary for comic relief here: If you are not singing or at least humming Frozen's "Let it Go" by now I will be sorely disappointed. ;)
I have had to let you of people. This is probably the hardest one, but most necessary at times. Isn't it painful to know, see, and live experiences with people who help shape who you are, yet walk away from you when life changes? Again, whether it's you that changes, circumstances, jobs, relationships, it bites. The people that perhaps were part of your support network, closest confidants and allies when turmoil was non-existent, suddenly find themselves on the opposite side of everything you hold dear. Why? Because something changed... What do you do? You fight to save the relationships, naturally, because you care. You search high and low for solutions. You over extend your welcome because in your mind you believe that will make it all better. Over and over again you knock on the door, yet no one answers. What then?
Let it go.. Let them go... For it, they, let go of you a long time ago. You just couldn't and didn't want to face it.
I huge weight lifts off your shoulders (certainly did off mine!!) when our little voice inside us said, in it's most stern, but loving, perhaps motherly way, "just do your thing and let go what you can't control anymore." The voice continues to say, in the most encouraging way, "believe in you, be YOU, what you are meant to be, do what you are meant to DO and let go of the rest."
Let's celebrate the gifts we bring to the world, to each other, and be OK with letting go of those elements of life, be it material or human, that do not add joy, blessings, support, and love to our lives... If it's not right, if it's not bringing peace and life, and FUN, to you, to me, it's OK... let it go.
Do I projectile vomit (sorry for the visual) and rant on the week's events like there's no ending in sight? Believe me, like the person next to me, stress and heartache can come in every shape and size to make your living life a bit difficult at times. NO. We, I, will not dwell on that. Why? Because it's not worth it.
We can spend our energy thinking and processing every minute of every hour analyzing and re-analyzing our very thoughts, behavior and choice of words. Exhausting, isn't it? I am tired just writing this sentence already. I admit I am sounding more like my last blog post on worrying. In other words and to recap, let's not worry about the worries of this past week.
Instead, let's focus on the positive. I for one am proud to own having embraced a new concept. It's like an old lesson we are taught early in life but we don't really appreciate or get until our mature years: the novel concept of letting go. Ha! Groundbreaking, right? ;) Well, for me it is, in a way. I have voluntarily let go of far more things than usual in the past few weeks, thanks to the help of my awesome spiritual healer, who reminded me of a few items in my luggage, pardon me, baggage, I should have let go a LONG time ago.
What have I let go you may be asking. Yeah, OK, OK, I'll tell you a few.. not all, for some are between me and my peeps "upstairs." My hope with this entry is, not for me to use it as a way of over expressing my own stuff, but to hopefully, be able to relate to many of you as fellow travelers in this incredible journey that is called life.
Ready? Here we go... I have let go of over- analyzing things. Whether it's the morning traffic, the overworked co-worked, the mean boss or the misunderstood friend, things happen. They happen and they have nothing to do with you. So why over-analyze it. Why stress about it. If you know it has nothing to do with you, or whatever is happening it is due to circumstances beyond your control, let it go. It's not you, it's that or them. Let it go.
I have let go of fear... well, not 100%, but I am getting much better at it. I mean, are we ever that brave that we are not afraid of anything in life? Some might be. I think I have been at times. All I know is that I am getting better at it. If you are afraid of something, face it. Look at it in the face, own it, live through it. Believe me, you will live to tell the tale. I have faced rejection, insecurity, pain and loss, being judged and hurt. I have had to look at it in the face. The walls and shield built to protect myself, my heart, my soul have been there in moments of need. Thank you Scarlett O'Hara. But, occasionally, the walls and shield must come down. The best thing to do after facing such fears: let it go, let them go.
INSERT commentary for comic relief here: If you are not singing or at least humming Frozen's "Let it Go" by now I will be sorely disappointed. ;)
I have had to let you of people. This is probably the hardest one, but most necessary at times. Isn't it painful to know, see, and live experiences with people who help shape who you are, yet walk away from you when life changes? Again, whether it's you that changes, circumstances, jobs, relationships, it bites. The people that perhaps were part of your support network, closest confidants and allies when turmoil was non-existent, suddenly find themselves on the opposite side of everything you hold dear. Why? Because something changed... What do you do? You fight to save the relationships, naturally, because you care. You search high and low for solutions. You over extend your welcome because in your mind you believe that will make it all better. Over and over again you knock on the door, yet no one answers. What then?
Let it go.. Let them go... For it, they, let go of you a long time ago. You just couldn't and didn't want to face it.
I huge weight lifts off your shoulders (certainly did off mine!!) when our little voice inside us said, in it's most stern, but loving, perhaps motherly way, "just do your thing and let go what you can't control anymore." The voice continues to say, in the most encouraging way, "believe in you, be YOU, what you are meant to be, do what you are meant to DO and let go of the rest."
Let's celebrate the gifts we bring to the world, to each other, and be OK with letting go of those elements of life, be it material or human, that do not add joy, blessings, support, and love to our lives... If it's not right, if it's not bringing peace and life, and FUN, to you, to me, it's OK... let it go.
Sunday, June 1, 2014
Why? Don't!
Today I hiked, again, and it was wonderful. Ok, not so wonderful because I was by myself. Don't get me wrong, I love going hiking alone. It is a gift, an opportunity; an open invitation to have a conversation with God, yes, YOU above, or yourself, or nature... Lately, though I have been going hiking along, and while that is all good, no matter how many photos I take and no matter how many uploads I make, it's not quite the same as sharing the scenery, the view, the moment, with another person. Oh well.. No worries, right? We deal. :)
One of the coolest things, experiences, dare I say moments in time where you change a bit for the better, I discerned about and processed today. This week was hectic, stressful and challenging to say the least, but an evening of reflection, conversation, affirmation and forgiveness, made all the difference. Sorry, I won't share all the details. Let's just say, a friend helped me reflect and process life experiences and milestones, which in prayer and meditation, provided me with a simple reminder: why worry about what has yet to happen... yet to come, when we, I, don't know if it will happen?
It made me pause and think. I know, I am getting deep, so go get a glass of wine! ;)
I am a planner. I don't know when it started, but as long as I can remember, I have planned...I love calendars, especially, mapping them out months at a time. Exhausting, isn't it. How about you? I know there are a lot of planners out there. Here's the issue... We plan for what we think will happen, what we expect to happen... Sometimes it does indeed happen; sometimes it doesn't. When whatever happens, a trip, a project due date, an invitation actually manifests itself in real time, we feel accomplished, fulfilled, complete. If that "something" we have been planning for doesn't happen, we are disappointed, sad, depressed, a little broken. Why?
Why do we worry about what may happen, or may not? Why do we worry for what we think is what should-a, could-a, would-a happen? Don't!
This week I was reminded of how much energy, time, and pieces of ourselves, spiritually and emotionally, we loose when we worry about the future. Who cares right? Well, we do. We, planners, do. What's going to happen in my new job? In my relationship? Am I going to be able to provide for my son when he needs me the most? The answer to these questions is often "maybe, yes, maybe, no" or who cares, or it doesn't matter.
What matters is today. Are you healthy? Yes. Are the kids healthy? Yes. Are they happy? Yes. Have you been able to provide? Yes. Do you have a job and a home, and people who love you, around you? Yes! Yes, and yes! Although, I'd like more of my loved ones to be closer in proximity, I know they are with me, in my heart.
So, to sum it all up, I am learning and accepting that I can't control many things that will come. I have to be open to them, at peace with myself, my life and confident that everything will be ok. Because why worry. Don't. Today, I hiked on a beautiful trail, processed my day, gave thanks for friends and mentors who love and appreciate me and felt a little sad that I couldn't be with those who need me the most because of distance. You know who you are... I love you.
Let's let go of worry. It is most unwelcome in our lives. Unfortunately, it brings stress when there shouldn't be any. So why? Why?? Don't... Just don't. Everything is going to be alright.
One of the coolest things, experiences, dare I say moments in time where you change a bit for the better, I discerned about and processed today. This week was hectic, stressful and challenging to say the least, but an evening of reflection, conversation, affirmation and forgiveness, made all the difference. Sorry, I won't share all the details. Let's just say, a friend helped me reflect and process life experiences and milestones, which in prayer and meditation, provided me with a simple reminder: why worry about what has yet to happen... yet to come, when we, I, don't know if it will happen?
It made me pause and think. I know, I am getting deep, so go get a glass of wine! ;)
I am a planner. I don't know when it started, but as long as I can remember, I have planned...I love calendars, especially, mapping them out months at a time. Exhausting, isn't it. How about you? I know there are a lot of planners out there. Here's the issue... We plan for what we think will happen, what we expect to happen... Sometimes it does indeed happen; sometimes it doesn't. When whatever happens, a trip, a project due date, an invitation actually manifests itself in real time, we feel accomplished, fulfilled, complete. If that "something" we have been planning for doesn't happen, we are disappointed, sad, depressed, a little broken. Why?
Why do we worry about what may happen, or may not? Why do we worry for what we think is what should-a, could-a, would-a happen? Don't!
This week I was reminded of how much energy, time, and pieces of ourselves, spiritually and emotionally, we loose when we worry about the future. Who cares right? Well, we do. We, planners, do. What's going to happen in my new job? In my relationship? Am I going to be able to provide for my son when he needs me the most? The answer to these questions is often "maybe, yes, maybe, no" or who cares, or it doesn't matter.
What matters is today. Are you healthy? Yes. Are the kids healthy? Yes. Are they happy? Yes. Have you been able to provide? Yes. Do you have a job and a home, and people who love you, around you? Yes! Yes, and yes! Although, I'd like more of my loved ones to be closer in proximity, I know they are with me, in my heart.
So, to sum it all up, I am learning and accepting that I can't control many things that will come. I have to be open to them, at peace with myself, my life and confident that everything will be ok. Because why worry. Don't. Today, I hiked on a beautiful trail, processed my day, gave thanks for friends and mentors who love and appreciate me and felt a little sad that I couldn't be with those who need me the most because of distance. You know who you are... I love you.
Let's let go of worry. It is most unwelcome in our lives. Unfortunately, it brings stress when there shouldn't be any. So why? Why?? Don't... Just don't. Everything is going to be alright.
Sunday, May 25, 2014
Get out!
A few weeks since my last post and a lot has happened.
I could post about my last days working in higher education, after 15 years as a committed and passionate advocate for all things education, especially when it comes to values and educating for mission. That's who I was educated to be; my formation as an adult and professional. That's it for now, for I could write a book (and I will when the time is right!) about my journey navigating the fulfilling, yet often rough seas of Catholic higher education.
I could write about my baby cousin, little sister, almost daughter (to her chagrin!) graduating from my Alma Mater and place I, we, called home and all that came with the momentous occasion. A family reunion years in the making, memory making moments only certain chosen ones will truly appreciate and the peace that comes with being around those who love you unconditionally. Pause for teary eye moment...
I could write about the incredibly special kayaking adventure exploring a former naval base on the south east coast of Puerto Rico. What a site to see. The docks, the bridges and enormous steel structures that would harbor vessels of war created to maintain order, dare I say peace, in our world. All there, all rusted and covered in algae, empty and quietly magnificently, still standing. A bit of a ghost town, where a large airplane runway grows weeds where once carriers flew in and out of. The Navy left and now there's nothing...---insert unsolicited political statement here---. Please remember all I am reporting is what I saw and the little that I know, watching from the sidelines. What came to our minds, as two explorers watching in marvel of the site before us, were questions? How sad that this space, this land and real estate is empty. Why have government officials let this happen? There are reason, I know... Research that made more damage than good, moral implications of what was happening, locally and nationally as a reason for the base's mere existence. Again, I don't know the details and certainly don't plan to cast judgment or blame. I saw an opportunity for a small town in my lovely island to grow its economy. How sad that reality is different. I could write about all that but I will stop now. Instead secretly and quietly whispering a prayer for the little town of Ceiba, Puerto Rico, that is more along the lines of "I wish Richard Branson would by the place." ;)
I could write about the last two weeks experiencing somewhat of a quick mourning period for a work environment and receive a rude awakening for a new one. The pace in my new work space in insane, but wasn't I craving that? Yes, I was. I am doer and boy am I doing. My days fly by and my learning curve slowly shrinks. My pace, I must re-adjust, for there is no "later" in this place.
What I will write this beautifully sunny, Memorial Day weekend morning, as I sit outside (and fight the glare so I can type this accurately!), finally wearing shorts, a tank, is much more simple, easy and often taken for granted. Being outside...
Yesterday, the kid and I drove a few miles south to a park and arboretum and hiked a bit. I had not realized how close we were to these trails. It was a lovely couple of hours of just being. I looked up and the sky was blue.. you know, the bright, clear baby blue that makes you smile. It had rained so the green was as bright and alive as one can describe and along with the butterflies you couldn't help but want to fly around everywhere and take it all in.
After we came home we sat outside. I love my backyard. With much love and TLC from the most devoted care-taker (not me!) my backyard has quickly become my favorite part of my house. The living room and the couch were no. 1 for years... now they settle into a comfortable no.2. I take my book and sit outside, swing on the hammock (when the kids shares) or sit at the pit waiting to decide if it will be a good night for a fire. I can only say "thank you" and I am blessed.
Spring has come and almost gone and summer is finally knocking on the door. After surviving the worst winter in my life living in Ohio, I am grateful to live in a place where one can experience all four seasons. It is pretty cool to see the changes in the colors, feel of the wind, even the snow on the ground... I don't know how many more winters like last one I will be able to endure, but for now, today, on a sunny and 75 degree day, I am not staying indoors. :)
As I quickly close this post, I remember a few errands I need to run. YES! I get to go outside.
In a nutshell, if you can, get out and hike. If you like, get out and bike. If you swim, go find a lake. If you are alive GO OUT AND LIVE! :)
I could post about my last days working in higher education, after 15 years as a committed and passionate advocate for all things education, especially when it comes to values and educating for mission. That's who I was educated to be; my formation as an adult and professional. That's it for now, for I could write a book (and I will when the time is right!) about my journey navigating the fulfilling, yet often rough seas of Catholic higher education.
I could write about my baby cousin, little sister, almost daughter (to her chagrin!) graduating from my Alma Mater and place I, we, called home and all that came with the momentous occasion. A family reunion years in the making, memory making moments only certain chosen ones will truly appreciate and the peace that comes with being around those who love you unconditionally. Pause for teary eye moment...
I could write about the incredibly special kayaking adventure exploring a former naval base on the south east coast of Puerto Rico. What a site to see. The docks, the bridges and enormous steel structures that would harbor vessels of war created to maintain order, dare I say peace, in our world. All there, all rusted and covered in algae, empty and quietly magnificently, still standing. A bit of a ghost town, where a large airplane runway grows weeds where once carriers flew in and out of. The Navy left and now there's nothing...---insert unsolicited political statement here---. Please remember all I am reporting is what I saw and the little that I know, watching from the sidelines. What came to our minds, as two explorers watching in marvel of the site before us, were questions? How sad that this space, this land and real estate is empty. Why have government officials let this happen? There are reason, I know... Research that made more damage than good, moral implications of what was happening, locally and nationally as a reason for the base's mere existence. Again, I don't know the details and certainly don't plan to cast judgment or blame. I saw an opportunity for a small town in my lovely island to grow its economy. How sad that reality is different. I could write about all that but I will stop now. Instead secretly and quietly whispering a prayer for the little town of Ceiba, Puerto Rico, that is more along the lines of "I wish Richard Branson would by the place." ;)
I could write about the last two weeks experiencing somewhat of a quick mourning period for a work environment and receive a rude awakening for a new one. The pace in my new work space in insane, but wasn't I craving that? Yes, I was. I am doer and boy am I doing. My days fly by and my learning curve slowly shrinks. My pace, I must re-adjust, for there is no "later" in this place.
What I will write this beautifully sunny, Memorial Day weekend morning, as I sit outside (and fight the glare so I can type this accurately!), finally wearing shorts, a tank, is much more simple, easy and often taken for granted. Being outside...
Yesterday, the kid and I drove a few miles south to a park and arboretum and hiked a bit. I had not realized how close we were to these trails. It was a lovely couple of hours of just being. I looked up and the sky was blue.. you know, the bright, clear baby blue that makes you smile. It had rained so the green was as bright and alive as one can describe and along with the butterflies you couldn't help but want to fly around everywhere and take it all in.
After we came home we sat outside. I love my backyard. With much love and TLC from the most devoted care-taker (not me!) my backyard has quickly become my favorite part of my house. The living room and the couch were no. 1 for years... now they settle into a comfortable no.2. I take my book and sit outside, swing on the hammock (when the kids shares) or sit at the pit waiting to decide if it will be a good night for a fire. I can only say "thank you" and I am blessed.
Spring has come and almost gone and summer is finally knocking on the door. After surviving the worst winter in my life living in Ohio, I am grateful to live in a place where one can experience all four seasons. It is pretty cool to see the changes in the colors, feel of the wind, even the snow on the ground... I don't know how many more winters like last one I will be able to endure, but for now, today, on a sunny and 75 degree day, I am not staying indoors. :)
As I quickly close this post, I remember a few errands I need to run. YES! I get to go outside.
In a nutshell, if you can, get out and hike. If you like, get out and bike. If you swim, go find a lake. If you are alive GO OUT AND LIVE! :)
Monday, April 28, 2014
No day but today...
Today is happening, right now, at this very moment. While I write this, while you read it, today is happening, at this very moment. We are here, living the often taken for granted miracle that is life. Each day is a gift, an opportunity to start anew; a second chance to make, or break an impression, a bad one that is. A day in our lives is so precious, glaring and glowing with sparkle and shine that is so blinding we don't see the beauty and uniqueness of it. A day in our lives is special, and it happens only once, today, right now, at this very moment.
So, why do we (why do I) dwell in the what ifs of tomorrow? Maybe we can't help it. Maybe at one point in our lives we learned how to plan ahead, live month to month, and operate in a system that makes us look ahead instead of looking now. I am not picking on planning ahead... Your truly had to learn to live and work in an environment that survives on "predictive modeling" and assumptions of what "may be." There's certainly nothing wrong with that until you realize you are missing today.
There is nothing wrong with planning a new strategy for innovation, product development, communication, a vacation, an adventure. To that, I say bring it! However, careful you and I must be if the cautionary discretions we must consider in the planning of whatever brings stress, tension and unnecessary drama. What to do? What to say then?
Well, some of us unfortunately have had to endure a lesson here and there, that at certain moments of today, when drama comes, or bangs on our door like a wolf huffin' and puffin' to get in, the best thing to do is stop, think, reflect... and do the best to continue to tackle the situation from a place of love. Worst case scenario: you were part or the actual cause of the tension or drama. What to do? What to say? Maybe walking away is best. Taking yourself out of the situation and spend some time in silent reflection.Taking a time out and chill is a very scientific, yet effective way to cool off . I know, trust me, it works. What I have learned is that whatever the situation, face it head on, from a place of love.
Today is happening, right now, at this very moment and I am firm believer that if we, as imperfect humans, make mistakes, we should own them and apologize, especially if they have hurt someone deeply. Owning your mistakes and finding ways to fix them is how you learn and grow. Maybe it takes a little longer for some lessons to fully immersed themselves into your being, but with love and trust, you will get there...
Some of us may need not to only ask for forgiveness, but to forgive ourselves. A good friend reminded me yesterday not to be so hard on myself... to allow myself to forgive that I have screwed up in the past, but I am a better person now because I learned from my mistake.
Today is happening, right now, at this very moment... My wish and prayer for you all is that we remember that there is no day but today. There is no more beautiful and special time to be with the one you love than the moment you are together. There is no better time to say I love you than when you think about saying those precious words to your kids, your parents, best friends, partner in life, love and adventure. There is no better day than today to start a new project. There is no day but today to change what you know needs to change but you have been afraid to change it... There is no better time than now to even plan (maybe a little ;)) on going on retreat to get refreshed and renewed spiritually. There is no reason to worry about tomorrow because it will never exist without TODAY.
So, why do we (why do I) dwell in the what ifs of tomorrow? Maybe we can't help it. Maybe at one point in our lives we learned how to plan ahead, live month to month, and operate in a system that makes us look ahead instead of looking now. I am not picking on planning ahead... Your truly had to learn to live and work in an environment that survives on "predictive modeling" and assumptions of what "may be." There's certainly nothing wrong with that until you realize you are missing today.
There is nothing wrong with planning a new strategy for innovation, product development, communication, a vacation, an adventure. To that, I say bring it! However, careful you and I must be if the cautionary discretions we must consider in the planning of whatever brings stress, tension and unnecessary drama. What to do? What to say then?
Well, some of us unfortunately have had to endure a lesson here and there, that at certain moments of today, when drama comes, or bangs on our door like a wolf huffin' and puffin' to get in, the best thing to do is stop, think, reflect... and do the best to continue to tackle the situation from a place of love. Worst case scenario: you were part or the actual cause of the tension or drama. What to do? What to say? Maybe walking away is best. Taking yourself out of the situation and spend some time in silent reflection.Taking a time out and chill is a very scientific, yet effective way to cool off . I know, trust me, it works. What I have learned is that whatever the situation, face it head on, from a place of love.
Today is happening, right now, at this very moment and I am firm believer that if we, as imperfect humans, make mistakes, we should own them and apologize, especially if they have hurt someone deeply. Owning your mistakes and finding ways to fix them is how you learn and grow. Maybe it takes a little longer for some lessons to fully immersed themselves into your being, but with love and trust, you will get there...
Some of us may need not to only ask for forgiveness, but to forgive ourselves. A good friend reminded me yesterday not to be so hard on myself... to allow myself to forgive that I have screwed up in the past, but I am a better person now because I learned from my mistake.
Today is happening, right now, at this very moment... My wish and prayer for you all is that we remember that there is no day but today. There is no more beautiful and special time to be with the one you love than the moment you are together. There is no better time to say I love you than when you think about saying those precious words to your kids, your parents, best friends, partner in life, love and adventure. There is no better day than today to start a new project. There is no day but today to change what you know needs to change but you have been afraid to change it... There is no better time than now to even plan (maybe a little ;)) on going on retreat to get refreshed and renewed spiritually. There is no reason to worry about tomorrow because it will never exist without TODAY.
Thursday, April 3, 2014
Going on retreat... brb!
Need a little pick me up? Want to regroup and get your thoughts in order? Your life, perhaps? Go on retreat... Take some time for yourself, connect with whatever you need to connect with and just be...
Wait for it... wait for it. Here comes the disclaimer- I use the word "retreat" loosely and almost as a verb, not a noun. Retreat yourself from the routine, from the drama, retreat and TREAT yourself to some "me" time and do something you like, no, LOVE; love to do or love to be at. Most of all, be happy.
Going on retreat, or retreating away for a little bit to have some quality time with yourself, with God, or whatever power or energy you believe and feel whole around, can come in many different forms.
If you are prone to go on retreats of the spiritual or religious nature, do it! Contemplative times of silence and prayer may just be what you love and also need at the time to re-energize your life. Some people travel to retreat and literally get away. Others read a good book and immerse themselves in the pages of the fictional (or non-fictional) places, lives, loves for a little R & R with imagination. Love it? Do it!
I have a friend who loves race cars. His retreat includes an annual pilgrimage to the Indy 500. I know, I know, it's not the most contemplative or quietest of environments, but it's his retreat, and when he comes back to routine, he is a newly positive and energized person to be around.
Others need a weekend, here and there, to go to the beach, set up camp and be with nature. Talk about re-TREAT! What a treat it is to be able to enjoy the beauty of nature, the gifts from our Creator, the sun, moon, skies and stars... The sea, the sand, the heat and wind. Alone or with company, it is an opportunity, not a chore, a joyous gift, not a stressful "to do." Same goes for exploring and tackling on trails in a forest or national park, listening to the birds sing, the crackling trees and breathing fresh air that is taken for granted more than it should.
For me, well, I can most certainly relate to the examples of retreating already mentioned. However, my favorite form or re-treating is indeed a TREAT for myself.
Going on retreat... brb (be right back!) is what you will usually see if I post anywhere that I am in a movie theatre.
Why? Weird or goofy, some might think. Well, to quote a good friend and colleague, yes, I am goofy. ;) So be it, in this particular case I take pleasure in what some may even call superficial and unrealistic. My retreats from routing, from the norm in order to think, reflect, process and escape is going by myself to see a movie. Yes, that is me, the person that buys "one for "Eat, Pray, Love, please."
As much as I will try to explain the whys, just take my word from it as a choice and for what it's worth. A movie can be just that, a movie. A 90-120 minute feature film based on an either, sappy story or a reality-based event, told by actors who may be more self-absorbed and all about themselves than they would care to admit. Maybe, yes, that is the case.
To me, however, (and I have blogged about my obsession, yes, it qualifies as such) with movies, their actors, the story behind the creation of such, the cinematography, sound, and everything related is an experience. When I walk into a dark movie theatre I can tune out every hint of drama, worry and stress in my life. When I walk unto the isle, carefully scout out and count until I find the middle seat and indeed, sit, I am home. I make sure no one is sitting in front of me. Pop corn in tow (you GOTTA have popcorn!) and a bottle of water - I stopped drinking diet Coke and opted for water; the involuntary need to be consciously healthy, ugh- and put my feet up. Shhh.. Silence. Bliss...
I pay attention to the previews like it's my job until the movie begins. Then, finally, after 30 minutes of often too much information-induced ads for upcoming attractions, my journey into introspection begins. Yes, admittedly so, the drama, stress or worry in my life creeps in, but this is where the retreat part comes in! I carefully choose my movies. I choose movies I can not only relate to, but that are relevant and realistic. This certainly does not mean I won't indulge in my occasional science fiction- Star WARS, not Star Trek, please!- for those flicks are often the most necessary magical trips we need to really disconnect and regroup from a new perspective. I go and watch comedies, the most hilarious and inappropriate at times and they are perfect for making me laugh hysterically and remind me not to take life too seriously. It's only life, after all. We should laugh and enjoy it! Thank you "Bridesmaids" for making me LOL more than once! ;)
Like a good book that somehow touches one's life, a movie can also help you heal, give perspective, or you know what, simply help you CHILL OUT in the midst of whatever you are dealing with. Truth be told, maybe your drama doesn't really go away completely. That's fine. Of course, it will be there when you come home, or return from the beach, or go back to work on Monday, or hike down the mountain. Life will be there, our problems will be there. But after a much needed, well-deserved retreat (silence, musical, theatrical or prayerful), you will feel like you gave yourself quite a TREAT because you chose to take the time and do something you loved, but equally needed. You feel better already... you can face the music, put on your Ironman suit and take on the bad guys. A new energy fills your heart, your mind... You did it! You were able to step back, relax, reflect, regroup... and now confidently say bring it on!
Wait for it... wait for it. Here comes the disclaimer- I use the word "retreat" loosely and almost as a verb, not a noun. Retreat yourself from the routine, from the drama, retreat and TREAT yourself to some "me" time and do something you like, no, LOVE; love to do or love to be at. Most of all, be happy.
Going on retreat, or retreating away for a little bit to have some quality time with yourself, with God, or whatever power or energy you believe and feel whole around, can come in many different forms.
If you are prone to go on retreats of the spiritual or religious nature, do it! Contemplative times of silence and prayer may just be what you love and also need at the time to re-energize your life. Some people travel to retreat and literally get away. Others read a good book and immerse themselves in the pages of the fictional (or non-fictional) places, lives, loves for a little R & R with imagination. Love it? Do it!
I have a friend who loves race cars. His retreat includes an annual pilgrimage to the Indy 500. I know, I know, it's not the most contemplative or quietest of environments, but it's his retreat, and when he comes back to routine, he is a newly positive and energized person to be around.
Others need a weekend, here and there, to go to the beach, set up camp and be with nature. Talk about re-TREAT! What a treat it is to be able to enjoy the beauty of nature, the gifts from our Creator, the sun, moon, skies and stars... The sea, the sand, the heat and wind. Alone or with company, it is an opportunity, not a chore, a joyous gift, not a stressful "to do." Same goes for exploring and tackling on trails in a forest or national park, listening to the birds sing, the crackling trees and breathing fresh air that is taken for granted more than it should.
For me, well, I can most certainly relate to the examples of retreating already mentioned. However, my favorite form or re-treating is indeed a TREAT for myself.
Going on retreat... brb (be right back!) is what you will usually see if I post anywhere that I am in a movie theatre.
Why? Weird or goofy, some might think. Well, to quote a good friend and colleague, yes, I am goofy. ;) So be it, in this particular case I take pleasure in what some may even call superficial and unrealistic. My retreats from routing, from the norm in order to think, reflect, process and escape is going by myself to see a movie. Yes, that is me, the person that buys "one for "Eat, Pray, Love, please."
As much as I will try to explain the whys, just take my word from it as a choice and for what it's worth. A movie can be just that, a movie. A 90-120 minute feature film based on an either, sappy story or a reality-based event, told by actors who may be more self-absorbed and all about themselves than they would care to admit. Maybe, yes, that is the case.
To me, however, (and I have blogged about my obsession, yes, it qualifies as such) with movies, their actors, the story behind the creation of such, the cinematography, sound, and everything related is an experience. When I walk into a dark movie theatre I can tune out every hint of drama, worry and stress in my life. When I walk unto the isle, carefully scout out and count until I find the middle seat and indeed, sit, I am home. I make sure no one is sitting in front of me. Pop corn in tow (you GOTTA have popcorn!) and a bottle of water - I stopped drinking diet Coke and opted for water; the involuntary need to be consciously healthy, ugh- and put my feet up. Shhh.. Silence. Bliss...
I pay attention to the previews like it's my job until the movie begins. Then, finally, after 30 minutes of often too much information-induced ads for upcoming attractions, my journey into introspection begins. Yes, admittedly so, the drama, stress or worry in my life creeps in, but this is where the retreat part comes in! I carefully choose my movies. I choose movies I can not only relate to, but that are relevant and realistic. This certainly does not mean I won't indulge in my occasional science fiction- Star WARS, not Star Trek, please!- for those flicks are often the most necessary magical trips we need to really disconnect and regroup from a new perspective. I go and watch comedies, the most hilarious and inappropriate at times and they are perfect for making me laugh hysterically and remind me not to take life too seriously. It's only life, after all. We should laugh and enjoy it! Thank you "Bridesmaids" for making me LOL more than once! ;)
Like a good book that somehow touches one's life, a movie can also help you heal, give perspective, or you know what, simply help you CHILL OUT in the midst of whatever you are dealing with. Truth be told, maybe your drama doesn't really go away completely. That's fine. Of course, it will be there when you come home, or return from the beach, or go back to work on Monday, or hike down the mountain. Life will be there, our problems will be there. But after a much needed, well-deserved retreat (silence, musical, theatrical or prayerful), you will feel like you gave yourself quite a TREAT because you chose to take the time and do something you loved, but equally needed. You feel better already... you can face the music, put on your Ironman suit and take on the bad guys. A new energy fills your heart, your mind... You did it! You were able to step back, relax, reflect, regroup... and now confidently say bring it on!
Thursday, February 20, 2014
What to do? What to say?
What to do? What to say when you feel like some things in your life are working out, yet others seem to be at a stand still. Worse yet, certain things are in what appears to be permanent state of "I feel like I am talking to the wall" state. Unfortunately for you, you get a feeling that you are starting to hear the wall talk back to you: "honey child, for the upteenth time, don't knock on this door! We don't want what you are selling...ever."
What to do? What to say? Well, you can complain about the items in your life that are not quite where you want them to be, or how you had visualized them. Better yet, you can celebrate those deliciously joyful circumstances in life when love, family, support and accomplishment, all miraculously intertwine and make a gorgeous multicolored braid to add to your hair extensions... Sorry boys, that one was for the girls... or gal pals who like to wear braids- you know who you are! ;)
We can dwell in the annoying nuanses of winter. The cold and bitter wind that came in through our not-so-well insulated windows committed to make our living and breathing self miserable. Or how about the explosive water pipe that froze and flooded our basement just a few days before the thick sheet of ice slid and covered our windshield, leaving us with 0% visibility and completely disoriented, only to attempt to get out of a busy intersection and getting t-boned by a car... on YOUR side. Yeah, true story.
What to do? What to say?
A little boy smiles and glows every time he hears of upcoming adventures on a trail, a future camping trip or anything related to water, is mentioned as part of the morning routine and conversation. The smile. Yes, the smile means more than anything else money can buy-except perhaps the very expensice toy the kid wanted for Christmas. :) No matter, it is still joy to see. What makes it even more meaningful, better than any store-bought toy could? The walking stick he was handed, personally carved after being discovered on the trail. Fresh, raw, begging to be taken on the next adventure the boy was going to embark on. The smile on, the stick in hand, the kid turns to the adults and yells "ONWARD!"
Rains are here. Wind is blowing hard and I can hear it all around the house. Might Spring be around the corner? My I hope so...But, what to do? What to say in the meantime.
When some things in life don't seem to be working out quite as you wanted them to, going "unplugged" is perhaps the best thing to actually do. Unplug, disconnect, log-out, shut down. Just be... A hike on a trail, breathing fresh air, even while it is 30 degrees outside, may just what you need. Who knows... maybe you will stumble a majestic frozen waterfall, literally frozen in time, while you can hear the water running directly behind it, or inside it, in a Narnia-like wonderland hoping to remain in a deep freeze eventhough the sun threatens to melt it away. Fresh air. Maybe birds will be migrating back north and actually singining. A tiny flower bud might even be peaking its petals, slightly open, almost afraid to let go and be. A canoe, raft or kayak could also be docked in the shore, or stored in a garage waiting. Vessels that can transport you in water not only serve to take you from one place to another... alone, or in good company, especially when someone you love, these "boats" show support, protection, safety and security, are fun and they help you float.
What to do or what to say when some things in life aren't falling into place the way you want them to... sometimes the best thing to do is get on, get out, and float... you'll get there.
Wednesday, February 5, 2014
You are stronger...
Ever wonder what some of us do when there is a snow day, or delay? Some go back to bed, others clean, do laundry, workout, watch lame morning news shows. Somewhat reluctantly, but fully embracing to partaking in all these rituals at one point or another, staying home on a snow day also allows me the time to think... Ah, time, often a commodity we take for granted, often a something we have way too much of and struggle to fill wisely.
Time this morning has allowed me to reflect on the last few weeks of hellish winter weather, that has only solidified the mere fact that I am an island girl and will always be; warm blooded, hose/tights wearing hater, who rather bake in the sun, then freeze in this tundra. Oh well.... if 20 years of living in the Midwest hadn't convinced me that I wasn't born to hibernate, this January surely took care of it.
No, this is not a winter- blast whiny post... On the contrary. What happens when you realize you have tackled crazy weather conditions and lived to tell about it? You realize you are stronger than perhaps you realized. When you balance multiple balls in the air and almost lose one but quickly react to catch it and not let disaster happen, you are stronger.
Today's a-ha moment came as I processed a conversation with a loved one about life, decisions, balancing what needs to happen with what should happen, along with what we want to happen... Easy enough, right? Well, depends on how you look at it. I have to believe that in the midst of life's challenges we as humans, who think and feel (not necessarily equally and in that order!), are programmed to stare right back at life and take it in the face. Take what, you ask... Take whatever comes; good and bad. We are strong. I took it in the face when life brought me joy, love, a son, life-long friends. Hell yeah, I took it in the face! And it made me stronger.
I took it in the face when I was given grief, death, loneliness, heart-break and disappointment. I took it in the face, but I am stronger.
When life's paved streets, dirt or yellow-brick roads take you to a crossroad and there's no scarecrow to point in the right direction, you pause, think and walk... whatever direction, it is yours to make and to own. Key word: OWN. You are stronger.
When you look back and realized you are just fine after being sucker-punched in the stomach because you endured and took it in the face, you are stronger.
If you can still laugh at the absurdity of behaviors that perhaps at one point where directed at you, you are stronger.
If you see, feel, know and love with all your heart and what you see, feel, know and love is given back to you freely and unconditionally, you are stronger.
Once you see all the options, decisions, directions you and your life can embrace and clarity makes a loud and triumphant entrance to give you that final strong hold and support to again, take it in the face, you do... and you are stronger.
My friends, if we think we have hit rock bottom, fallen off the wagon, hit our lowest, then come to grips with the fact that we are still here, we are smiling, embracing life and taking it in the face... We are stronger.
Stay strong, no matter how cold it is out there. xoxo ;)
Time this morning has allowed me to reflect on the last few weeks of hellish winter weather, that has only solidified the mere fact that I am an island girl and will always be; warm blooded, hose/tights wearing hater, who rather bake in the sun, then freeze in this tundra. Oh well.... if 20 years of living in the Midwest hadn't convinced me that I wasn't born to hibernate, this January surely took care of it.
No, this is not a winter- blast whiny post... On the contrary. What happens when you realize you have tackled crazy weather conditions and lived to tell about it? You realize you are stronger than perhaps you realized. When you balance multiple balls in the air and almost lose one but quickly react to catch it and not let disaster happen, you are stronger.
Today's a-ha moment came as I processed a conversation with a loved one about life, decisions, balancing what needs to happen with what should happen, along with what we want to happen... Easy enough, right? Well, depends on how you look at it. I have to believe that in the midst of life's challenges we as humans, who think and feel (not necessarily equally and in that order!), are programmed to stare right back at life and take it in the face. Take what, you ask... Take whatever comes; good and bad. We are strong. I took it in the face when life brought me joy, love, a son, life-long friends. Hell yeah, I took it in the face! And it made me stronger.
I took it in the face when I was given grief, death, loneliness, heart-break and disappointment. I took it in the face, but I am stronger.
When life's paved streets, dirt or yellow-brick roads take you to a crossroad and there's no scarecrow to point in the right direction, you pause, think and walk... whatever direction, it is yours to make and to own. Key word: OWN. You are stronger.
When you look back and realized you are just fine after being sucker-punched in the stomach because you endured and took it in the face, you are stronger.
If you can still laugh at the absurdity of behaviors that perhaps at one point where directed at you, you are stronger.
If you see, feel, know and love with all your heart and what you see, feel, know and love is given back to you freely and unconditionally, you are stronger.
Once you see all the options, decisions, directions you and your life can embrace and clarity makes a loud and triumphant entrance to give you that final strong hold and support to again, take it in the face, you do... and you are stronger.
My friends, if we think we have hit rock bottom, fallen off the wagon, hit our lowest, then come to grips with the fact that we are still here, we are smiling, embracing life and taking it in the face... We are stronger.
Stay strong, no matter how cold it is out there. xoxo ;)
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