Get out!

A few weeks since my last post and a lot has happened.

I could post about my last days working in higher education, after 15 years as a committed and passionate advocate for all things education, especially when it comes to values and educating for mission. That's who I was educated to be; my formation as an adult and professional. That's it for now, for I could write a book (and I will when the time is right!) about my journey navigating the fulfilling, yet often rough seas of Catholic higher education. 

I could write about my baby cousin, little sister, almost daughter (to her chagrin!) graduating from my Alma Mater and place I, we, called home and all that came with the momentous occasion. A family reunion years in the making, memory making moments only certain chosen ones will truly appreciate and the peace that comes with being around those who love you unconditionally. Pause for teary eye moment...

I could write about the incredibly special kayaking adventure exploring a former naval base on the south east coast of Puerto Rico. What a site to see. The docks, the bridges and enormous steel structures that would harbor vessels of war created to maintain order, dare I say peace, in our world. All there, all rusted and covered in algae, empty and quietly magnificently, still standing. A bit of a ghost town, where a large airplane runway grows weeds where once carriers flew in and out of. The Navy left and now there's nothing...---insert unsolicited political statement here---. Please remember all I am reporting is what I saw and the little that I know, watching from the sidelines. What came to our minds, as two explorers watching in marvel of the site before us, were questions? How sad that this space, this land and real estate is empty. Why have government officials let this happen? There are reason, I know... Research that made more damage than good, moral implications of what was happening, locally and nationally as a reason for the base's mere existence. Again, I don't know the details and certainly don't plan to cast judgment or blame. I saw an opportunity for a small town in my lovely island to grow its economy. How sad that reality is different. I could write about all that but I will stop now. Instead secretly and quietly whispering a prayer for the little town of Ceiba, Puerto Rico, that is more along the lines of "I wish Richard Branson would by the place." ;)

I could write about the last two weeks experiencing somewhat of a quick mourning period for a work environment and receive a rude awakening for a new one. The pace in my new work space in insane, but wasn't I craving that? Yes, I was. I am doer and boy am I doing. My days fly by and my learning curve slowly shrinks. My pace, I must re-adjust, for there is no "later" in this place.

What I will write this beautifully sunny, Memorial Day weekend morning, as I sit outside (and fight the glare so I can type this accurately!), finally wearing shorts, a tank, is much more simple, easy and often taken for granted. Being outside...

Yesterday, the kid and I drove a few miles south to a park and arboretum and hiked a bit. I had not realized how close we were to these trails. It was a lovely couple of hours of just being. I looked up and the sky was blue.. you know, the bright, clear baby blue that makes you smile. It had rained so the green was as bright and alive as one can describe and along with the butterflies you couldn't help but want to fly around everywhere and take it all in.

After we came home we sat outside. I love my backyard. With much love and TLC from the most devoted care-taker (not me!) my backyard has quickly become my favorite part of my house. The living room and the couch were no. 1 for years... now they settle into a comfortable no.2. I take my book and sit outside, swing on the hammock (when the kids shares) or sit at the pit waiting to decide if it will be a good night for a fire. I can only say "thank you" and I am blessed. 

Spring has come and almost gone and summer is finally knocking on the door. After surviving the worst winter in my life living in Ohio, I am grateful to live in a place where one can experience all four seasons. It is pretty cool to see the changes in the colors, feel of the wind, even the snow on the ground... I don't know how many more winters like last one I will be able to endure, but for now, today, on a sunny and 75 degree day, I am not staying indoors. :)

As I quickly close this post, I remember a few errands I need to run. YES! I get to go outside.

In a nutshell, if you can, get out and hike. If you like, get out and bike. If you swim, go find a lake. If you are alive GO OUT AND LIVE! :)

No day but today...

Today is happening, right now, at this very moment. While I write this, while you read it, today is happening, at this very moment. We are here, living the often taken for granted miracle that is life. Each day is a gift, an opportunity to start anew; a second chance to make, or break an impression, a bad one that is. A day in our lives is so precious, glaring and glowing with sparkle and shine that is so blinding we don't see the beauty and uniqueness of it. A day in our lives is special, and it happens only once, today, right now, at this very moment.

So, why do we (why do I) dwell in the what ifs of tomorrow? Maybe we can't help it. Maybe at one point in our lives we learned how to plan ahead, live month to month, and operate in a system that makes us look ahead instead of looking now. I am not picking on planning ahead... Your truly had to learn to live and work in an environment that survives on "predictive modeling" and assumptions of what "may be."  There's certainly nothing wrong with that until you realize you are missing today.

There is nothing wrong with planning a new strategy for innovation, product development, communication, a vacation, an adventure. To that, I say bring it! However, careful you and I must be if the cautionary discretions we must consider in the planning of whatever brings stress, tension and unnecessary drama. What to do? What to say then?

Well, some of us unfortunately have had to endure a lesson here and there, that at certain moments of today, when drama comes, or bangs on our door like a wolf huffin' and puffin' to get in, the best thing to do is stop, think, reflect... and do the best to continue to tackle the situation from a place of love. Worst case scenario: you were part or the actual cause of the tension or drama. What to do? What to say? Maybe walking away is best. Taking yourself out of the situation and spend some time in silent reflection.Taking a time out and chill is a very scientific, yet effective way to cool off . I know, trust me, it works. What I have learned is that whatever the situation, face it head on, from a place of love.

Today is happening, right now, at this very moment and I am firm believer that if we, as imperfect humans, make mistakes, we should own them and apologize, especially if they have hurt someone deeply. Owning your mistakes and finding ways to fix them is how you learn and grow. Maybe it takes a little longer for some lessons to fully immersed themselves into your being, but with love and trust, you will get there...

Some of us may need not to only ask for forgiveness, but to forgive ourselves. A good friend reminded me yesterday not to be so hard on myself... to allow myself to forgive that I have screwed up in the past, but I am a better person now because I learned from my mistake.

Today is happening, right now, at this very moment... My wish and prayer for you all is that we remember that there is no day but today. There is no more beautiful and special time to be with the one you love than the moment you are together. There is no better time to say I love you than when you think about saying those precious words to your kids, your parents, best friends, partner in life, love and adventure. There is no better day than today to start a new project. There is no day but today to change what you know needs to change but you have been afraid to change it... There is no better time than now to even plan (maybe a little ;)) on going on retreat to get refreshed and renewed spiritually. There is no reason to worry about tomorrow because it will never exist without TODAY.

Going on retreat... brb!

Need a little pick me up? Want to regroup and get your thoughts in order? Your life, perhaps? Go on retreat... Take some time for yourself, connect with whatever you need to connect with and just be...

Wait for it... wait for it. Here comes the disclaimer- I use the word "retreat" loosely and almost as a verb, not a noun. Retreat yourself from the routine, from the drama, retreat and TREAT yourself to some "me" time and do something you like, no, LOVE; love to do or love to be at. Most of all, be happy.

Going on retreat, or retreating away for a little bit to have some quality time with yourself, with God, or whatever power or energy you believe and feel whole around, can come in many different forms.

If you are prone to go on retreats of the spiritual or religious nature, do it! Contemplative times of silence and prayer may just be what you love and also need at the time to re-energize your life. Some people travel to retreat and literally get away. Others read a good book and immerse themselves in the pages of the fictional (or non-fictional) places, lives, loves for a little R & R with imagination. Love it? Do it!

I have a friend who loves race cars. His retreat includes an annual pilgrimage to the Indy 500. I know, I know, it's not the most contemplative or quietest of environments, but it's his retreat, and when he comes back to routine, he is a newly positive and energized person to be around.

Others need a weekend, here and there, to go to the beach, set up camp and be with nature. Talk about re-TREAT! What a treat it is to be able to enjoy the beauty of nature, the gifts from our Creator, the sun, moon, skies and stars... The sea, the sand, the heat and wind. Alone or with company, it is an opportunity, not a chore, a joyous gift, not a stressful "to do." Same goes for exploring and tackling on trails in a forest or national park, listening to the birds sing, the crackling trees and breathing fresh air that is taken for granted more than it should.

For me, well, I can most certainly relate to the examples of retreating already mentioned. However, my favorite form or re-treating is indeed a TREAT for myself.

Going on retreat... brb (be right back!) is what you will usually see if I post anywhere that I am in a movie theatre.

Why? Weird or goofy, some might think. Well, to quote a good friend and colleague, yes, I am goofy. ;) So be it, in this particular case I take pleasure in what some may even call superficial and unrealistic. My retreats from routing, from the norm in order to think, reflect, process and escape is going by myself to see a movie. Yes, that is me, the person that buys "one for "Eat, Pray, Love, please."

As much as I will try to explain the whys, just take my word from it as a choice and for what it's worth. A movie can be just that, a movie. A 90-120 minute feature film based on an either, sappy story or a reality-based event, told by actors who may be more self-absorbed and all about themselves than they would care to admit. Maybe, yes, that is the case.

To me, however, (and I have blogged about my obsession, yes, it qualifies as such) with movies, their actors, the story behind the creation of such, the cinematography, sound, and everything related is an experience.  When I walk into a dark movie theatre I can tune out every hint of drama, worry and stress in my life. When I walk unto the isle, carefully scout out and count until I find the middle seat and indeed, sit, I am home.  I make sure no one is sitting in front of me. Pop corn in tow (you GOTTA have popcorn!) and a bottle of water - I stopped drinking diet Coke and opted for water; the involuntary need to be consciously healthy, ugh- and put my feet up. Shhh.. Silence. Bliss...

I pay attention to the previews like it's my job until the movie begins. Then, finally, after 30 minutes of often too much information-induced ads for upcoming attractions, my journey into introspection begins. Yes, admittedly so, the drama, stress or worry in my life creeps in, but this is where the retreat part comes in! I carefully choose my movies. I choose movies I can not only relate to, but that are relevant and realistic. This certainly does not mean I won't indulge in my occasional science fiction- Star WARS, not Star Trek, please!- for those flicks are often the most necessary magical trips we need to really disconnect and regroup from a new perspective. I go and watch comedies, the most hilarious and inappropriate at times and they are perfect for making me laugh hysterically and remind me not to take life too seriously. It's only life, after all. We should laugh and enjoy it! Thank you "Bridesmaids" for making me LOL more than once! ;)

Like a good book that somehow touches one's life, a movie can also help you heal, give perspective, or you know what, simply help you CHILL OUT in the midst of whatever you are dealing with. Truth be told, maybe your drama doesn't really go away completely. That's fine. Of course, it will be there when you come home, or return from the beach, or go back to work on Monday, or hike down the mountain. Life will be there, our problems will be there. But after a much needed, well-deserved retreat (silence, musical, theatrical or prayerful), you will feel like you gave yourself quite a TREAT because you chose to take the time and do something you loved, but equally needed.  You feel better already... you can face the music, put on your Ironman suit and take on the bad guys. A new energy fills your heart, your mind... You did it! You were able to step back, relax, reflect, regroup... and now confidently say bring it on!

What to do? What to say?

What to do? What to say when you feel like some things in your life are working out, yet others seem to be at a stand still. Worse yet, certain things are in what appears to be  permanent state of "I feel like I am talking to the wall" state. Unfortunately for you, you get a feeling that you are starting to hear the wall talk back to you: "honey child, for the upteenth time, don't knock on this door! We don't want what you are selling...ever."

What to do? What to say? Well, you can complain about the items in your life that are not quite where you want them to be, or how you had visualized them. Better yet, you can celebrate those deliciously joyful circumstances in life when love, family, support and accomplishment, all miraculously intertwine and make a gorgeous multicolored braid to add to your hair extensions... Sorry boys, that one was for the girls... or gal pals who like to wear braids- you know who you are! ;)

We can dwell in the annoying nuanses of winter. The cold and bitter wind that came in through our not-so-well insulated windows committed to make our living and breathing self miserable. Or how about the explosive water pipe that froze and flooded our basement just a few days before the thick sheet of ice slid and covered our windshield, leaving us with 0% visibility and completely disoriented, only to attempt to get out of a busy intersection and getting t-boned by a car... on YOUR side. Yeah, true story.

What to do? What to say?

A little boy smiles and glows every time he hears of upcoming adventures on a trail, a future camping trip or anything related to water, is mentioned as part of the morning routine and conversation. The smile. Yes, the smile means more than anything else money can buy-except perhaps the very expensice toy the kid wanted for Christmas. :) No matter, it is still joy to see. What makes it even more meaningful, better than any store-bought toy could? The walking stick he was handed, personally carved after being discovered on the trail. Fresh, raw, begging to be taken on the next adventure the boy was going to embark on. The smile on, the stick in hand, the kid turns to the adults and yells "ONWARD!" 

Rains are here. Wind is blowing hard and I can hear it all around the house. Might Spring be around the corner? My I hope so...But, what to do? What to say in the meantime.

When some things in life don't seem to be working out quite as you wanted them to,  going "unplugged" is perhaps the best thing to actually do. Unplug, disconnect, log-out, shut down. Just be...  A hike on a trail, breathing fresh air, even while it is 30 degrees outside, may just what you need. Who knows... maybe you will stumble a majestic frozen waterfall, literally frozen in time, while you can hear the water running directly behind it, or inside it, in a Narnia-like wonderland hoping to remain in a deep freeze eventhough the sun threatens to melt it away. Fresh air. Maybe birds will be migrating back north and actually singining. A tiny flower bud might even be peaking its petals, slightly open, almost afraid to let go and be. A canoe, raft or kayak could also be docked in the shore, or stored in a garage waiting. Vessels that can transport you in water not only serve to take you from one place to another... alone, or in good company, especially when someone you love, these "boats"  show support, protection, safety and security, are fun and they help you  float.

What to do or what to say when some things in life aren't falling into place the way you want them to... sometimes the best thing to do is get on, get out, and float... you'll get there.

You are stronger...

Ever wonder what some of us do when there is a snow day, or delay? Some go back to bed, others clean, do laundry, workout, watch lame morning news shows. Somewhat reluctantly, but fully embracing to partaking in all these rituals at one point or another, staying home on a snow day also allows me the time to think... Ah, time, often a commodity we take for granted, often a something we have way too much of and struggle to fill wisely.

Time this morning has allowed me to reflect on the last few weeks of hellish winter weather, that has only solidified the mere fact that I am an island girl and will always be; warm blooded, hose/tights wearing hater, who rather bake in the sun, then freeze in this tundra. Oh well.... if 20 years of living in the Midwest hadn't convinced me that I wasn't born to hibernate, this January surely took care of it.

No, this is not a winter- blast whiny post... On the contrary. What happens when you realize you have tackled crazy weather conditions and lived to tell about it? You realize you are stronger than perhaps you realized. When you balance multiple balls in the air and almost lose one but quickly react to catch it and not let disaster happen, you are stronger.

Today's a-ha moment came as I processed a conversation with a loved one about life, decisions, balancing what needs to happen with what should happen, along with what we want to happen... Easy enough, right? Well, depends on how you look at it. I have to believe that in the midst of life's challenges we as humans, who think and feel (not necessarily equally and in that order!), are programmed to stare right back at life and take it in the face. Take what, you ask... Take whatever comes; good and bad. We are strong. I took it in the face when life brought me joy, love, a son, life-long friends. Hell yeah, I took it in the face! And it made me stronger.

I took it in the face when I was given grief, death, loneliness, heart-break and disappointment. I took it in the face, but I am stronger.

When life's paved streets, dirt or yellow-brick roads take you to a crossroad and there's no scarecrow to point in the right direction, you pause, think and walk... whatever direction, it is yours to make and to own. Key word: OWN. You are stronger.

When you look back and realized you are just fine after being sucker-punched in the stomach because you endured and took it in the face, you are stronger.

If you can still laugh at the absurdity of behaviors that perhaps at one point where directed at you, you are stronger.

If you see, feel, know and love with all your heart and what you see, feel, know and love is given back to you freely and unconditionally, you are stronger.

Once you see all the options, decisions, directions you and your life can embrace and clarity makes a loud and triumphant entrance to give you that final strong hold and support to again, take it in the face, you do... and you are stronger.

My friends, if we think we have hit rock bottom, fallen off the wagon, hit our lowest, then come to grips with the fact that we are still here, we are smiling, embracing life and taking it in the face... We are stronger.

Stay strong, no matter how cold it is out there. xoxo ;)  

Happy New Year!

As 2013 comes to a close, reflections come pouring in like a flood threatening to drown you. What to do? Do you run and take cover in an elevated area or do you brace yourself for impact and prepare to swim in order to float and survive? Both options seems reasonable under the circumstances; both have consequences as risky moves you must make in order to move on.

I used this comparison because for the last week I have seen quite the array of "2014 will bring..." or "2013 has been ..." Should I join my fellow cyberspace neighbors and add one more reflection or do I read long and reflect on my own, while having one of my many conversations with you know who "Upstairs", and simply wish everyone a happy and blessed 2014?

Decision made. I will do both. :) There are certainly a few items on my reflection agenda I must leave inside my own heart and mind. You understand, don't you? I share plenty in this platform, but do respect the fact that the art of discretion, or being discrete, is a gift I received from my family. ;) However, I will indeed write a little something about this incredible year that is coming to an end.

When we closed 2012 ("closed" used literally) chapters in our histories, our stories, they closed like a snap of a ginormous novel when you complete reading the last of its 350 pages. Snap. Shut. Done. Closed. Closing and ending chapters of our stories can be a very good thing. Like goodbyes bringing change and change bringing good byes. We can also say, like the great Mother Superior told Maria (and if you don't immediately know what I am talking about, google it!;)), "when the Lord closes a door, somewhere, HE opens a window." So in fact a year ended, it closed. But a new one began and opened windows, doors, hearts to many unknowns and exciting "what ifs..."

The year 2013 has brought incredible challenges, personal conflicts, misunderstandings that resulted in friendships practically ending, resistance from accepting the unavoidable and real; denial that certain truths are meant to first be respected, then accepted in faith and trust.

This year has also brought about clarity and reassurance, and while circumstances proved to be this way and that, one question constantly appeared: is it worth it? The reason I bring this up is because this year, more than I believe ever before, many of us where faced with the following scenario. There is something we want, someone to see or talk to, a goal to reach, a project to tackle and every time we make an attempt to do it, we are either brushed away, ignored or our hopes and dreams crushed. What to do? Is it worth the rejection and constant hearing of "nos" haunting your mind, or do we just let it go?  Aren't we all faced with situations like these? As the year draws to an end, and 2014 is about to begin, let it begin with a splash. A splash of courage, hope, faith and love. For the courage to look at those very situations were we got nowhere and asses the worth of it. Believe me, some ARE worth persevering, while others, with confidence that you have done EVERYTHING you could, are simply not. The lesson here is that it IS OK to let it be and let it go. It happened for a reason.

With an open heart allowing love, friendship, faith and family to come in, I am standing firm on a few things. My house, my family, my life,  are about love, peace, faith and FUN. Forces opposing these very fundamental principles for happiness will loom, no doubt. Unfortunately for them, they will not be allowed in. Some may sneak in and if they do, we will just have to either shush them away or give them a spoonful of sugar... it will either make them smile or annoy the heck out of them so they will go away on their own. Problem solved. LOL :)

This year has been incredible and the blessings were abundant. An appreciation for the little things has been a gift I had taken for granted. The amount of gorgeous landscapes this world has given us, I saw with new eyes, as well as a sense of awareness of what's in front of me. May 2014 bring you love like a wrecking ball (sorry, I couldn't help it, Miley is in the background :)) and adventure quickly follows. May it open your hearts to all kinds of love and your minds to all kinds of possibilities. May you dream big and work hard to make those dreams come true. May you never take for granted what you see every day, who you love, what you do, because life is precious and too short. May you be at peace with your inner you, as well as your outer and public you. For they both should be one in the same. May you be happy, like we all strive to be. Happy New Year... and may you say BRING IT!

Christmas 2013

A year ago I was in sunny, warm Puerto Rico, enjoying the joy of being with family and friends that only comes accompanied with the drama, like a committed relationship for life. Sound familiar? Ha. It's all about being home for the holidays isn't it. Well, this year, mostly due to ridiculously prized airfares, we stayed in Ohio. Let's not forget the small, tiny it detail that I scheduled the test of my life on December 27. At least Iam focused on that this week, which is helping deal with being homesick.

What a year it has been... and I am so grateful. It has been challenging, especially from the professional side, but as challenges go, bring these on for they are providing more clarity and direction than ever before. Hence, subjecting myself to sitting in front of a computer for 4 hours exposed to having to think about circumferences, percentages and ratios. Math, ugh! ;) At least I own the fact that I "do words, not numbers!" Let's pass this test and apply away. Life has kickstarted again, classes also begin soon and I am on a deadline. The inner nerd speaks!

If I were to summarize this year in one word it would FUN. No, I don't mean the year has all been fun and games, or that everything in life, moving forward should be all about fun... or should it? :) My dearest reality check reminds me occasionally that rule number one is: to have FUN. If you are not having fun why do it. I take this to heart and am working hard to implement it in all I do.

Why can't work be fun? Shouldn't life, while balancing all that comes with it, also be fun? Every day should have something FUN about it. The morning routine, while the kid may drive me up the wall with his need to take 20 minutes to brush his teeth can be fun when he starts singing the theme song to Spongebob Squarepants. I have to laugh! Although, this time of the year he is obsessed with Bing Crosby's "Mele Kalikimaka" -thanks Chevy Chase! LOL

The drive to work can be hysterically funny as I listen to Tu Mañana LIVE and its innapropriate comments and jokes. Sorry, it's gotta be a Puerto Rican thing that morning radio shows ARE suppose to be FUNNY!

Finding the fun in every day life may not be as easy as I make it sound, but actually spending time thinking about it and committing yourself to that quest, will bring at least a smile to your face. I know. I am living it. Truth be told, life's wicked stepsister, insecurity and her best friend, loneliness, loom around and do their best to suck the fun out of everything. Don't let them in. Say, thanks, but no thank you. We have fun in this life. We see fun in the backyard hammock, in the bonfire warming our hearts, in the morning cup of coffee, in the smile on our kids' faces. In how precious life and its most simplest of things are bound to be fun, or at least bring joy to our lives.

For some of us an evening by the shore, looking up and gazing at a starry night is as fun as it is medicinal. It is a retreat, a conversation with the most High. A thank you, in a way, for bringing fun to our lives or all the beauty and love that surrounds us. For others, a empty movie theatre where life's challenges and previous conversations with insecurity and loneliness are forgotten and imagination runs wild. A journey immersed into the abyss of movie magic and storytelling is so much fun, as it is also peaceful and spiritual. A connection of somesort that only few undestand. And, yes, that can be fun.

Christmas is certainly a season that we often forget the fun that comes with the sacred. A baby was born and babies bring joy to our lives. THAT is fun. We decorate a church and set up a manger scene and make memories. That is also fun. We share meals, laughter and dance with friends and loved ones. How fun!

Today, Christmas eve 2013, as homesick as I am and as much as I need bear hugs from the most important people in my life, I plan to have fun.

My wish for you this Christmas is to look for the fun in everything. The rule number one is to have fun, especially in life. Let's have fun and enjoy what we have in our lives, the blessings, the challenges, the lessons, the people. Oh how Iove you all, my people, even if I am not with you.

Note to self: Go home for Christmas next year! ;)

Feliz Navidad a todos. Que Dios los bendiga con solo felicidad y amor.