It's easier said than done. What happens when you know a good friend has a problem with alcohol or other vices. How long do you wait until you say something? You tell her that for her own good she needs to realize she has a problem. It is her problem, yes, but it effects so many. The conversation we had many times and she is very much aware of the issue. Do I get frustrated? Of course. Can I do more? Of course. The impulse to walk away and "teach a lesson" is more powerful than one can fathom. Yet, the tug in your heart to stay won't allow it. What do I decide? What is the best thing in this situation. After years of struggles and constant invitations to ride emotionally drained roller coasters, I stop, think, then act. However, the action this time is more passive. I decide simply to be...
A relative is currently going through major soul seeking in a spiritual journey in order to be at peace with who he really is. Get on with it, I want to scream! How long do we all have to be walking on egg shells around you? God, please tell him it's OK. Tell him we love him no matter what and that it shouldn't matter what others say or if they cast judgement. YOU made him and he is YOURS, and ours and is loved by many. It aches that I can't do anything to help. I need to do, I can't just sit here and do nothing. Anger and frustration are stronger. He refuses the helping hand, the loyalty, support and love offered to him. I look up and point at YOU, yes, YOU upstairs! Seriously, I just want to help. STOP.... THINK... Act. The inner dialogue of my heart and mind gets louder. The heart says "she is doing it out of love" and the mind quickly lashes back "it's not her problem." All I can do is be...
Last week I spoke with a former colleague. She was venting about having a bad day and how so many years before she had to make work-related decisions that impacted people's lives. Some good, some not so good. I listened. My responce was "I wish I could have been more of a friend to you and helped, but her position, her title and all the politics that came with it, would not allow it". She said the same thing. What was more striking is that she said "but through it all you were there, present in mind and heart and that's all the support I needed." Another eye-opening breakthrough. But I didn't do anything, I couldn't do anything. I was just there...
The moral of this story is, I think --insert smiley :) face here!--- that no matter how much we want to do or feel and have the urge and necessity to impose our /needs unto others, simply being there for them is enough. We can't live people's lives... We must live our own. It kills us to see others suffer and sit back and do nothing. That is not how I am programmed to be. HOWEVER, and that's a big however, I stress the lesson of picking our battles and trusting that some times the best thing to
do, at that particular time, in that particular instance, in that precise moment, is indeed, just to be...
To be there for my friend, to be there for my cousin, to be there for my colleague. To love them no matter what. To trust they know and feel deep in their hearts how much they are loved. To have the faith that they believe in themselves enough that they can get through whatever hurdles they must jump over. That through it all, at the end of the day, we will be here for them. My door is always open because my heart is. As hard of a lesson as this is for many, and for me, keeping my heart open for them to come back, is just as important.
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