Sunday, January 20, 2013

You have permission, you don't have permission. You have permission!

Last weekend's Richard Rohr's daily meditation was around "permission and possibility"- as soon as I read the title I perked up.

Here's a taste: "To be faithful to this inner love is in itself the greatest success. It is of itself the major possibility. No outer successes are henceforth necessary to be happy. This is what makes the mystics sort of dangerous: It’s not just possibility they experience—but permission. It’s permission to color outside the lines. It’s permission to be who they really are. It’s not just gay people who have to come out of their closets..." and I will leave it at that.

Richard speaks of love of self, love of the inner self, which is God's love IN you, in all of us. We need to do a better job at loving who we are, who we REALLY are. Once we are OK with that love, we can fully, truly, love others. That is the permission. I do agree with his reference of to the closet. Maybe some of you don't agree- that's OK, it's your opinion and I respect it. Respect mine.

At some point in our lives we have been closeted. We have been living certain aspects of our lives that are not quite representative of the people we really are. Appearances are important, I get it. You don't have to share all your secrets. I get that. What I hope to convey, simply based on my own personal experience, is that when we are at peace with who we are, and give ourselves PERMISSION to be who God meant us to be, POSSIBILITIES seem endless.

The realization of faults, limits and mistakes, only allows for possibilities to emerge. Some are not as evident or as obvious as others. Hopefully, we experience things, like a loss of a job, a broken relationship, and get to forgive ourselves when we are too hard our own faults. Hopefully, we move on. The moving on comes with that permission to explore new possibilities. Possibilities of a new career, a new relationship, a new YOU. Is it easy to do? Of course not. It never is. Is it worth a try? Life- giving, YES!

Another caveat or DISCLAIMER- yes, I usually have to include one, because unfortunately, some people may think I believe in certain things, issues and act a certain way, based on perception and not on facts--- that's the disclaimer. You know what they say about those who assume.

What I loved about this meditation and got me thinking for the ENTIRE week---I have been going crazy trying to figure out how to incorporate this into a post but couldn't quite find the groove--- began playing in my head over and over. It was like a mantra. This thought turned into somewhat of a prayer, a wish I wish on myself as well as on others: "I have permission, I don't have permission.I have permission, I don't have permission." Huh? Esssssplain, please! ;)

I really wish I could remember who I learned this from, but I can't. The sentimental part of me wants to say I learned this from my mother, but she wasn't around long enough. Maybe one of grandma's, maybe a teacher. The mantra is my head is the voice telling me: "you have permission to... but, you don't have permission to... "

You have permission to love yourself; you have permission to love others; you have permission to make mistakes; you have permission to change your mind; you have permission to live YOUR life according to what is best for YOU; you have permission to say NO; you have permission to walk away; you have permission to take the road less traveled; You have permission to NOT allow others to take advantage of you; you have permission to celebrate your beliefs; you have permission to LIVE".

The mantra continues..."but you don't have permission to be rude; you don't have permission to be cruel or mean-spirited; you don't have permission to be judgemental; you don't have permission to hate; you don't have permission to discriminate; you don't have permission to think you are better than others; you don't have permission to look down at others, and finally, you don't have permission to be condescending."

I have to add the "don'ts" because, just like the ying and the yang, the two sides of a coin, etc. there has to be a happy medium. Nothing can/should be done to its extreme. We are not perfect. My beliefs are not the "right" ones. My life is not better than yours. We must be honest with ourselves and accept and own other people's rights as much as our own. I think many of you will agree, a lot depends on respect and self-respect.

At some point in our lives we may have been victims of "not asking permission" to be or do all that was mentioned above. Again, I must stress that all I write is coming from my place of P: perspective.
But I can't help but think, or maybe I just hope, that if we remember this mantra, not only we give ourselves permission to be better people, but better community members, better co-workers, better family members... oh for the love, better people, period! :) 

So I still can't remember who I learned these "life lessions" of a sort that we may learn from our parents when we are children. I'd like to think I picked up a lot from behaviors from those I grew up around.

Permission leads to possibility. Maybe some of us out there like to ask forgiveness, THEN permission ---yeah, smile out there, you know who you are--- WINK! ;) ----HOWEVER, this time, permission does have to come first, for it is our own, our inner self/person that will become a pillar of strength, a solid rock column, a majestic mountain of love that pours out of us. THAT is the permission we need not to ask, but GIVE ourselves.

You have permission to.... you don't have permission to...  and then, HELLO possibilities! :)

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