Thank you Barbra, for in your best Fanny Brice, charmingly serenaded the ruffles off Omar Sharif's shirt in Funny Girl you tell us that "people who need people are in the luckiest people in the world."
I couldn't agree more. Some of you out there may concur, some of you not so much. However, if you would have asked me a year ago, I would hesitate a bit. You see, I was ready to embark in a new adventure of the job-changing kind where I was to work virtually, leading a team of professionals located in several call centers across the USA. The task at hand to build employee engagement that would result in retention.
Stationed in Ohio, I worked with engagement "teams" of volunteers for a Fortune 50 company, as I was constantly and quite condescendingly reminded off. The Fortune 50 company way is this, the Fortune 50 company way is that... You get the idea. Well, for a closet introvert, as my "thirties" would tell you I'd become, was totally up for it. OK, I can do this. I have managed volunteers and teams before. Let's plan strategy for engagement, events and let's have fun!
Did I say I'd be stationed in Ohio working virtually with teams all over the nation?? Yes, I had multiple meetings and calls a day with my colleagues, but it was done virtually. Week 1 turned into month 1, then month 3 and by the time month 6 rolled around, I had carpel tunnel in my right arm because I'd spent at least nine and a half hrs a day on my computer and on the phone. I had hardly any face to face, real interaction. The people on the floor where my office was located were all, like me, on the computer, phone headset on, doing their thing. "Good morning!" I'd cheerfully greet everyone I passed by. Nothing... My supervisor who lived an hr away, commuted, but stayed home three days a week and on days we'd have our one on one meetings, she'd stay in her office and call me over the phone. One day I had a bad cough and she asked me not to come in because I'd likely get her sick. Sparing you the details of what came later, you can say that there ended up being not so much positive engagement in the employee engagement world. Why? My theory was because the definition of engagement there had a lot to do with invoices, numbers and orders coming from top down, and not with the "engagement" of people.
I eventually began working from home. I mean, what was the point. Not one person I worked with was physically IN the office. Might was well roll out of bed, make my own coffee and have Hoda and Kathy Lee in the background-no wine, though. ;)
When that adventure (term used loosely and full of sarcasm) wrapped up I took a leap of faith and began working on new projects from home. Loved the classes taking, the planning and writing I was doing, essentially, the work was mine, and I felt productive. Unfortunately, I was starting to feel something huge was missing.
Disclaimer- there is NOTHING wrong with staying home, working from home, or doing "nothing" at home, if that is your choice. It was definitely, NOT for me.
This closet introvert is that: CLOSET introvert. More of an extrovert I began to desperately miss human interaction, actual, interpersonal interaction. Screw the phone, texting, emailing or the use of any other piece of technology available to us mere mortals to hide or shelter physical contact. In a nutshell, and before I went nuts, I realized I am a people person who needed people, who needs people,... Cue Barbra! How lucky I was to wake up from my "stay at home" comfort zone and wave away the fog that had attempted to blind me with thoughts and voices inside my head that justify and glorify the benefits of working on your own, from home. Again, this is MY story. Don't knock it. Some professionals out there have made it, and made it big, while working either alone, of from home. Again, not for me. It was simply too isolating.
I will say one thing, and here's where the true appreciation comes in. Fast forward to a few weeks ago. Still basking on the joy of rejoining a real, living and breathing work team, there were voices, presence of certain somebodies, all good people, but too "loud" for my mind and my heart, and even way more opinionated about MY life, career choices, parenting skills, etc. They may all mean well, but quite frankly I had to tune them OUT! I deactivated social media accounts, unplugged everything that needed a chord to stay "alive," turned off ring tones, changed ringtones, deleted ringtones and decided to focus on what was right in front of me: human beings, real people. Just like that I re-committed to tuning out voices and influences outside of my control. The point I want to make is that I put myself on a self-imposed "retreat" and was silent, disconnected and by choice, not interacting with anyone who was not in physical proximity. I was able to reflect, write and read, then relaxed and not stressed in order to peacefully enjoy the here, the now and the moment.
Then a miracle happened... the one app I had not deactivated was Skype. Through Skype calls, three by the same person in one week, I was able to re-connect, talk, laugh and even cry, looking into eyes, smiling in unison. Two people who live thousands of miles away, in countries apart, felt human (albeit visual) contact and that made all the difference...
So, in closing, and acknowledging the occasional need for any person to either work alone, from home, or other wise, disconnect himself/herself from the world if needed to regroup with ONESELF, to first and foremost listen to YOUR voice (internal and external) and be OK with yourself, your life and your own decisions, people need people. At least I do. I am a people person. I love to be around people, to work with people, to see, talk to, touch and laugh with people. And yes, I am one of the lucky ones.
Tuesday, April 28, 2015
Wednesday, March 18, 2015
iSe habla español!
I am sure I am not the first fully bilingual person who had an A-HA moment as the one I am embracing at the moment. It may not be as significant to the likes of many out there, but if a certain "bilingues y hasta trilingues" are reading this, I trust they will indeed give me a virtual high five or a fist pump!
Yo hablo español y al que no le gusta, pues, que se puede pedir, ojalá pudiera hablarlo también....
I say that in the most respectful way. I speak Spanish and if you don't like it, sorry, I wish you could speak it too.
Born and raised speaking one language can be hard enough for anyone. I mean, really, who loves grammar lessons at school in ANY language? Having said that, from an early age, I fell hard, hard, in love with the English language. I would sit for hours watching TV "ien inglés!" and repeat phrases, words, sing songs, memorize then recite full scripts ranging from "Annie" to "Gone With the Wind."
Becoming an English major was probably one of the best decisions I have ever made, allowing me to write and express myself, thoughts, points of view and opinions about a work of fiction, among other things. I was happy, intellectually stimulated and motivated to want more, to thrive and to not settle.
Landing jobs after colleges came easier than expected, having voices inside my head still echoing "You don't belong in the English department. You have no business here." Yet, instead of feeling proud and milking my "bilingués" -I think I just made that one up!- I was determined to be the best English speaker there was. I perfected my accent, boasting I didn't have an accent to speak off and made sure I was not pigeon held as the token Latina like it was job. It was mentally, emotionally and sometimes physically, exhausting--headaches every evening at 6:00 p.m. only to be soothed by Juan Luis Guerra y 4:40 merengue CDs playing in the car. I needed my Spanish. I needed what came naturally to me...
I remember many people pushing and strongly suggesting ("suggesting" used loosely) that I become the Latina this or the Latina that of any company or organization. I refused, I rebelled. I fought long and hard to make my mark as everything except who I was. What was I? Who am I? A college educated bilingual bad-ass that can relate to people from different cultures with an open mind, can speak and write fluently in two languages and has finally, truly and whole-heartedly appreciated the second language is just that... a second language. The main, primary, mother and native tongue or language is what naturally flows from me... in words, in actions, in mind, in body and soul.
Blessed I have been to travel and lived in many different countries and cultures, lucky to have friends who have taught me to say "I love you" in Swedish as well as in German and French, I now speak Spanish more than English in my day to day.
Whether it is working with a student from Puerto Rico, who needs help filling out a college application or doesn't understand what FAFSA means, or praying along side Doña Cecilia, whose daughter is ill and needs la Virgencita to watch over her, I do it en español.
Being bilingual is a gift I want and need to share with the world. I hope my son some day also realizes the same thing and embraces his roots and language of his parents and every member of his family, regardless how mid-western he may feel. Now, every day, I look forward to finding material to translate, calls to return and interpret, prayers to share, all in Spanish. Finally!!! Working every day using a God-given talent and ability and NOT keep it to myself. It is my responsibility to use this gift for the benefit of my community, to help my people. Mi gente.
If you need me, se habla español! :)
Yo hablo español y al que no le gusta, pues, que se puede pedir, ojalá pudiera hablarlo también....
I say that in the most respectful way. I speak Spanish and if you don't like it, sorry, I wish you could speak it too.
Born and raised speaking one language can be hard enough for anyone. I mean, really, who loves grammar lessons at school in ANY language? Having said that, from an early age, I fell hard, hard, in love with the English language. I would sit for hours watching TV "ien inglés!" and repeat phrases, words, sing songs, memorize then recite full scripts ranging from "Annie" to "Gone With the Wind."
Becoming an English major was probably one of the best decisions I have ever made, allowing me to write and express myself, thoughts, points of view and opinions about a work of fiction, among other things. I was happy, intellectually stimulated and motivated to want more, to thrive and to not settle.
Landing jobs after colleges came easier than expected, having voices inside my head still echoing "You don't belong in the English department. You have no business here." Yet, instead of feeling proud and milking my "bilingués" -I think I just made that one up!- I was determined to be the best English speaker there was. I perfected my accent, boasting I didn't have an accent to speak off and made sure I was not pigeon held as the token Latina like it was job. It was mentally, emotionally and sometimes physically, exhausting--headaches every evening at 6:00 p.m. only to be soothed by Juan Luis Guerra y 4:40 merengue CDs playing in the car. I needed my Spanish. I needed what came naturally to me...
I remember many people pushing and strongly suggesting ("suggesting" used loosely) that I become the Latina this or the Latina that of any company or organization. I refused, I rebelled. I fought long and hard to make my mark as everything except who I was. What was I? Who am I? A college educated bilingual bad-ass that can relate to people from different cultures with an open mind, can speak and write fluently in two languages and has finally, truly and whole-heartedly appreciated the second language is just that... a second language. The main, primary, mother and native tongue or language is what naturally flows from me... in words, in actions, in mind, in body and soul.
Blessed I have been to travel and lived in many different countries and cultures, lucky to have friends who have taught me to say "I love you" in Swedish as well as in German and French, I now speak Spanish more than English in my day to day.
Whether it is working with a student from Puerto Rico, who needs help filling out a college application or doesn't understand what FAFSA means, or praying along side Doña Cecilia, whose daughter is ill and needs la Virgencita to watch over her, I do it en español.
Being bilingual is a gift I want and need to share with the world. I hope my son some day also realizes the same thing and embraces his roots and language of his parents and every member of his family, regardless how mid-western he may feel. Now, every day, I look forward to finding material to translate, calls to return and interpret, prayers to share, all in Spanish. Finally!!! Working every day using a God-given talent and ability and NOT keep it to myself. It is my responsibility to use this gift for the benefit of my community, to help my people. Mi gente.
If you need me, se habla español! :)
Saturday, February 21, 2015
When asked what is romantic love to you, I answer...
Romantic love can mean many things to different people. Yes, it can be the Disney fairy tale some of us princesses dream off, or the instant connection made when two eyes meet and with no words to describe, a sensation of comfort, sprinkled with butterflies fluttering inside one's stomach, that sends a signal to your heart, saying "I like this. This feels good, keep going."
Love can also be that same feeling of comfort when two people share common thoughts, goals, values, likes and even dislikes. Sometimes it comes quickly, other times ....with time.
Love has to develop, whether thunderbolt or gradual, built on a foundation of respect for the other person. With no respect, no relationship lasts. But, let me add that when I speak of respect, it can't only be respect for the other half. I also mean, self - respect. Respecting yourself enough to know right from wrong. If a person doesn't respect his/herself, one's own thoughts, feelings and opinions can get lost in the fictional land of "I just want what you want." That same place, however, can certainly exist, if and only IF both parties are in true, whole - heartedly honest about their thoughts, feelings and opinions and it by providence, all are in sync to please each other, in some compromise, so be it.... buy land and set up shop.
Love is compromise and I can't stress that enough. Revisiting the same statement above on being honest, that compromise has to either come naturally or in unison, based on understanding, conversation and openness if/when there's a disagreement.
No relationship can be one-sided. A relationship, by definition, includes more than person. Not everyone is the same, no one is perfect..but how cool is it when two imperfect people find love and common ground to make perfect love. .. and by perfect love I mean whatever it means to them. We are all different and different is good sometimes.
Love is fun... oh so much fun. It is not meant to hurt, but to make you smile from ear to ear and to want to hold the other person's hand, and hug them as often as it's humanly possible. Love is asking how's your day going or how was it when there's stress in the air.... love is listening to the other person, telling the fun story as well as the serious one.
Love is taking note of those little things that may offend the other person, and (reference back to honesty and respect) either do them lightly without offense or if the offences take place and it was not meant to be hurtful, own up to it and apologize. There can at times, nothing more loving than an honest apology when due and spoken with heart. It shows vulnerability, humanness and responsibility. A responsibility for the feelings of the other and a responsibility for oneself.
Love is opportunity and not wasting it by not telling those who mean a lot to you how much that is...
Love is taking risks, leaps of faith, with the understanding that the leaps may scrape the knees if falling to fast. If it's worth the fall, jump!
In a nutshell, I love love, even when it hurts... I believe in it, in all of it and I pray and hope that as I, like you and many other people, experience a light or severe case of love sicknesses, we quickly recover with an open heart and a healthy soul to journey on...
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
David Lee Roth v. Sammy Hagar
In pondering the thought provoking invitation to consider, and also choose which lead singer better suits the infamous rock band, Van Halen, my conclusion follows.
David Lee Roth, crazy hair, sexy, deep voiced and quite the fun-loving boy represents the youth and discovery years, which for me, were the beginning of my love for MTV, et al. 1984 is probably one of the best albums that represent the 80s generation x's early appreciation of videos and long hair! ;)
While fans had to deal witn the fact that DLR was far too focused on his own ego by becoming "Just a Gigolo", he was somebody and gave us a treat in his solo albums, including introducing a new generation to "California Girls" - thanks Dave. ;)
In comes Sammy Hagar... a raspy voiced, pseudo beach-bum that could easily pass as a permanent resident of Margaritaville. He also can't drive 55.... but we give me a chance.
Numbers, numbers, I hate numbers, and what do we get: 5150. The sound sounds similar... a familiar tone, beautifully married to the sounds of Eddie's electric guitar. Again, Sammy's raspy voice serenades the hard core fans to "What can't this be love" and I'm entranced. Next thing you know, I ask for the LP for my birthday. Then.... I discovered "Dreams" and that cemented my role as a fan.
In conclusion.... both singers were perfect for the band at the time they were members...in fhe height of their original and complimentary popularity. However, to me, DLR represents the young Van Halen, jumping and being hot for teacher. Sammy is the slightly more mature Van Halen, giving to us a glimpse of hope, love and dreams, deeper and more meaningful than a spring break in Panama.
My choice is clear... I hope. ;)
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
2014, it's been real... really.
Perhaps one of my favorite places to spend time at is a coffee shop. In between student counseling sessions, I pause to check Facebook. Everyone posts on how today is the last day of 2014, the last page of the book that is that last year in our lives, and reminders of the opportunity that tomorrow will bring: a new year begins, a new book to start writing the epic novel that is life; a blank canvas to paint a colorful image morphed into something stemmed from our minds and thoughts...
If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, right??
Here's my third December 31, new year's eve post on my blog. All three might sound the same if you flip back and read, but I can guarantee one thing: I am not the same person. And that is OK.
This year, 2014, has been quite fascinating. Yes, fascinating is the first word that came to mind. The word is appropriate because it can be both equally, shimmering in all things positive as well as the challenging. Of course, by challenging, I embrace challenges as lessons, needed as they are at first rejected. Bring them on, for that is how we learn and be better; how I learn and become a better version of myself.
Along with the given (NOT to be taken for granted) blessings in my life, my loved ones and family, my friends, old and new, the year brought with it a reminder of who I am, who I have always been and who I am meant to be. It was a great reminder, that while it may have come with a tiny bit of pain, it has been worth it...
So, what did I remember I had not quite forgotten, but appreciated a reminder about?? ;)
I am in love with education, higher education to be exact. I need intellectual stimulation, so knowledge, you will be nurtured more. I am passionate about sharing my knowledge and experiences with others, students, adults, whoever. I put others' needs before mine and (as the reminder, reminded me) got a little sick along the way... No bueno! ;) Got over it, moving on. Like I wrote on my 40th birthday, it's OK to be a little self-caring at times, and it is NOT being selfish if you need to take care of yourself in other to take care of others. Caso Cerrado!
Careers shifted, passions reignited and risks are being taken. I am a heart-felt, emotional piece of Puerto Ricanness that will NOT omit my natural "me" regardless of where I live and where I work. While I am a careful and meticulous planner, I stepped out my comfort zone and decided to take one day at a time... OMG, it's oh so scary, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I had grown content, complacent and, dare I admit, jaded. That's NOT me. Life is for living, as my Camp Horizons boss always said... Every day is a gift. Every day brings new challenges and blessings, equally... The question is and will always be... how will I react and handle them?
PAUSE if you need a break if this post turns overly positive. Sorry, but I am not sorry. Positive is what I am, is how I feel and how I need to face the rest of my days, NO MATTER what 2015, or any new day, year, may bring. Is it easy? Hell no. The truth is I HAVE NO CHOICE. Yes, we have a choice in how we react to actions, words, circumstances. My choice is not to have a choice but be positive. I make a promise to you, the world, the Universe and to all that is holy, to face whatever this year brings with the best attitude possible and to channel thoughts through the tunnel of love. Why?
Why not....
I wish the same to you all.... Let this year be the most positive year, wherever we are, whatever we do, whoever we are. Happy 2015!
If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, right??
Here's my third December 31, new year's eve post on my blog. All three might sound the same if you flip back and read, but I can guarantee one thing: I am not the same person. And that is OK.
This year, 2014, has been quite fascinating. Yes, fascinating is the first word that came to mind. The word is appropriate because it can be both equally, shimmering in all things positive as well as the challenging. Of course, by challenging, I embrace challenges as lessons, needed as they are at first rejected. Bring them on, for that is how we learn and be better; how I learn and become a better version of myself.
Along with the given (NOT to be taken for granted) blessings in my life, my loved ones and family, my friends, old and new, the year brought with it a reminder of who I am, who I have always been and who I am meant to be. It was a great reminder, that while it may have come with a tiny bit of pain, it has been worth it...
So, what did I remember I had not quite forgotten, but appreciated a reminder about?? ;)
I am in love with education, higher education to be exact. I need intellectual stimulation, so knowledge, you will be nurtured more. I am passionate about sharing my knowledge and experiences with others, students, adults, whoever. I put others' needs before mine and (as the reminder, reminded me) got a little sick along the way... No bueno! ;) Got over it, moving on. Like I wrote on my 40th birthday, it's OK to be a little self-caring at times, and it is NOT being selfish if you need to take care of yourself in other to take care of others. Caso Cerrado!
Careers shifted, passions reignited and risks are being taken. I am a heart-felt, emotional piece of Puerto Ricanness that will NOT omit my natural "me" regardless of where I live and where I work. While I am a careful and meticulous planner, I stepped out my comfort zone and decided to take one day at a time... OMG, it's oh so scary, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I had grown content, complacent and, dare I admit, jaded. That's NOT me. Life is for living, as my Camp Horizons boss always said... Every day is a gift. Every day brings new challenges and blessings, equally... The question is and will always be... how will I react and handle them?
PAUSE if you need a break if this post turns overly positive. Sorry, but I am not sorry. Positive is what I am, is how I feel and how I need to face the rest of my days, NO MATTER what 2015, or any new day, year, may bring. Is it easy? Hell no. The truth is I HAVE NO CHOICE. Yes, we have a choice in how we react to actions, words, circumstances. My choice is not to have a choice but be positive. I make a promise to you, the world, the Universe and to all that is holy, to face whatever this year brings with the best attitude possible and to channel thoughts through the tunnel of love. Why?
Why not....
I wish the same to you all.... Let this year be the most positive year, wherever we are, whatever we do, whoever we are. Happy 2015!
Tuesday, December 16, 2014
Thoughts...
My first post, a little over two years ago, was all about processing a million thoughts in my head. It seems there's a massive gathering of people all wanting my attention at the same time. Hmm, it looks as if this year's meeting is taking place whether I like it or not, when I so politely declined the invitation to attend... Right.
The colorful array of thoughts represent different types of people. Those in attendance represent the "to-do list" or the mom-types, smothering, controlling, loving tough. Others are the overly-emotional, letting the heart sucker-punch the mind so emotions can flow (too much at times), just to turn around and allow the mind to embrace it with thoughts of fear and worry. In comes the confident, no-nonsense "I am stronger than this" thought, as the peace maker. Her voice trying to speak firm, but kindly and loud enough she can be heard and hopefully, bring consensus to this gathering. In the corner, the intellectual stands quietly observing what's going on, analyzing, assessing the situation to see if the heart and the mind, the most powerful vessels of thoughts can agree to disagree. And move on.
Think of these types of thoughts, as member chapters representing the different thoughts that mosey on into our minds when something happened, happens or is about to happen. Each chapter has over 50 members. Quite crowded for my mind... ;) but what can we, I, do about it? Can I attempt to be diplomatic and ask them to find another mind to clutter, especially, before 4:00 a.m. Sigh... Well, let's take a stab at this...
It's the holiday season. Christmas is coming. Advent to some of us, Catholics, is a time to wait, anticipate the "good news" to come in the shape of a baby. A new life, a new hope, a new future. Ok, yeah, we know that. What about the now, and the million thoughts in my head fighting for my attention, right here? Right now. What does that have to do with all of this? --- Queue thoughts talking to themselves- in my head. ;)
"We need to do our best to take one thing at a time. To speak, one at a time; be heard, listened to, one at a time. There's no need to worry --yes, I am looking at you, worrier-- take one thing at time and accept that what you see is what you get. If it's not there, if it hasn't happened, don't worry. If you don't hear it, see it, it's OK. Some things are meant to just be... so let it go. Each and everyone of us is causing anxiety by fighting for room in Jess' mind. We need to know our boundaries. We need to cut her a little slack and tone it down a notch. Perhaps, mom-type, relax a bit, while staying firm about the kid's school year. It's slowly getting better. We know you care about that, but relax.
No-nonsense and intellectual decide to work together and to ease the job situation and enable Jess to take advantage of the here and now, go with the flow and see where the universe will lead. Enjoy the time, the present, for it may not be as flexible in the future. And even if there's too much of it and you feel like you need to stay busy, that's OK. This time is yours and yours alone. Use it wisely."
The heart (thoughts) and the mind (thoughts) were staring at each other, like a duel at high noon where cowboys were locked in sight, sweating pouring down their faces waiting to see who would shoot first. The room went silent. Jess' mind quiet for the first time in at least a month. Waiting.
The mind held its hand up like asking for truce. Walked straight up to the heart and said it was sorry. The heart just listened. Said nothing. "I am so sorry for cluttering your judgment and taking advantage of your sensitivity. My negative side wanted to camp out, and stay. So much has happened and since you always win, I wanted to one-up you. I promise to let my positive side take over and allow you to be who you are, and if you allow me, help you channel emotions rationally and not as emotionally as usual. I am not perfect, but I will do my best to protect you from my negative side, especially now, at Christmas. This is my promise and my renewal to you."
The heart, stunned at what she had heard, responded in a calm, collected manner when let's admit it, everyone expected the tears to flow, like a waterfall in Niagara.
"Thank you. I appreciate everything you do for me. I am sorry for allowing the unnecessary stress come between us. We need to work together. To better communicate and to understand where each of us is coming from. I have allowed you to come into Jess' mind and forget I am here. I am not saying you can't come in at all, on the contrary. Please do, let's sit by the fire. But, I am glad you said your negative side will not overpower your positive side. It has devastating consequences and the fact is that I am frail. I think we all are, where the heart is concerned. However, don't underestimate my power, for I come from a line of folks that are all heart, and while we need to tone-it down and control the intensity of our blood-pumping power, we must protect Jess and not over do it. My promise to you is to stay in check. Not to change who I am and how I function, but to be more aware and balance the emotion part of our partnership. Key word is partnership. I am also not perfect and I know when I have to say I am sorry. I am whole-heartedly - chuckle for pun ;) - sorry for doing my own thing and not letting you join in the conversation, even if we agree to disagree. I will from now on allow you to be part of the conversation and decision making process for Jess, as long as it's your positive side. I will listen and respect where you are coming from. I will beat strong and loving for you, for our partnership. This is my renewal and promise to you."
And with that, all thoughts looks at each other and together left the cluttered space that was my mind for peaceful flows of fresh air to breeze through...
Wow, folks, I've been up since 3:30 a.m. I haven't had my coffee (catastrophic GASP!!!!) but I am wide away, and I am OK. Thank you for allowing me to help my many thoughts chill for a bit, and express themselves. They were too loud and they needed a time-out. Funny, as I am processing everything I wrote, I realized, all they needed was probably to be listened to. I gave them space, a little attention by putting them into writing so I can let them go... and flow and move on.
It is the holiday season. Indeed a time for renewal, to be grateful. A time for patience in the middle of stress, reflection and pause in the midst of uncertainty. But most of all, it is a time of hope, faith and love. I have asked my thoughts, all different types of thoughts, from emotional to rational, that moving forward they always remember this conversation they had with each other and the consensus they came to. Their promise to work together in hope, faith and love... May we all have the blessing and opportunity to pause and reflect, assess what's going on in our lives, learn from it and move on in hope, faith and love...
Half an hour more and Starbucks opens... ;) Have a wonderful day.
The colorful array of thoughts represent different types of people. Those in attendance represent the "to-do list" or the mom-types, smothering, controlling, loving tough. Others are the overly-emotional, letting the heart sucker-punch the mind so emotions can flow (too much at times), just to turn around and allow the mind to embrace it with thoughts of fear and worry. In comes the confident, no-nonsense "I am stronger than this" thought, as the peace maker. Her voice trying to speak firm, but kindly and loud enough she can be heard and hopefully, bring consensus to this gathering. In the corner, the intellectual stands quietly observing what's going on, analyzing, assessing the situation to see if the heart and the mind, the most powerful vessels of thoughts can agree to disagree. And move on.
Think of these types of thoughts, as member chapters representing the different thoughts that mosey on into our minds when something happened, happens or is about to happen. Each chapter has over 50 members. Quite crowded for my mind... ;) but what can we, I, do about it? Can I attempt to be diplomatic and ask them to find another mind to clutter, especially, before 4:00 a.m. Sigh... Well, let's take a stab at this...
It's the holiday season. Christmas is coming. Advent to some of us, Catholics, is a time to wait, anticipate the "good news" to come in the shape of a baby. A new life, a new hope, a new future. Ok, yeah, we know that. What about the now, and the million thoughts in my head fighting for my attention, right here? Right now. What does that have to do with all of this? --- Queue thoughts talking to themselves- in my head. ;)
"We need to do our best to take one thing at a time. To speak, one at a time; be heard, listened to, one at a time. There's no need to worry --yes, I am looking at you, worrier-- take one thing at time and accept that what you see is what you get. If it's not there, if it hasn't happened, don't worry. If you don't hear it, see it, it's OK. Some things are meant to just be... so let it go. Each and everyone of us is causing anxiety by fighting for room in Jess' mind. We need to know our boundaries. We need to cut her a little slack and tone it down a notch. Perhaps, mom-type, relax a bit, while staying firm about the kid's school year. It's slowly getting better. We know you care about that, but relax.
No-nonsense and intellectual decide to work together and to ease the job situation and enable Jess to take advantage of the here and now, go with the flow and see where the universe will lead. Enjoy the time, the present, for it may not be as flexible in the future. And even if there's too much of it and you feel like you need to stay busy, that's OK. This time is yours and yours alone. Use it wisely."
The heart (thoughts) and the mind (thoughts) were staring at each other, like a duel at high noon where cowboys were locked in sight, sweating pouring down their faces waiting to see who would shoot first. The room went silent. Jess' mind quiet for the first time in at least a month. Waiting.
The mind held its hand up like asking for truce. Walked straight up to the heart and said it was sorry. The heart just listened. Said nothing. "I am so sorry for cluttering your judgment and taking advantage of your sensitivity. My negative side wanted to camp out, and stay. So much has happened and since you always win, I wanted to one-up you. I promise to let my positive side take over and allow you to be who you are, and if you allow me, help you channel emotions rationally and not as emotionally as usual. I am not perfect, but I will do my best to protect you from my negative side, especially now, at Christmas. This is my promise and my renewal to you."
The heart, stunned at what she had heard, responded in a calm, collected manner when let's admit it, everyone expected the tears to flow, like a waterfall in Niagara.
"Thank you. I appreciate everything you do for me. I am sorry for allowing the unnecessary stress come between us. We need to work together. To better communicate and to understand where each of us is coming from. I have allowed you to come into Jess' mind and forget I am here. I am not saying you can't come in at all, on the contrary. Please do, let's sit by the fire. But, I am glad you said your negative side will not overpower your positive side. It has devastating consequences and the fact is that I am frail. I think we all are, where the heart is concerned. However, don't underestimate my power, for I come from a line of folks that are all heart, and while we need to tone-it down and control the intensity of our blood-pumping power, we must protect Jess and not over do it. My promise to you is to stay in check. Not to change who I am and how I function, but to be more aware and balance the emotion part of our partnership. Key word is partnership. I am also not perfect and I know when I have to say I am sorry. I am whole-heartedly - chuckle for pun ;) - sorry for doing my own thing and not letting you join in the conversation, even if we agree to disagree. I will from now on allow you to be part of the conversation and decision making process for Jess, as long as it's your positive side. I will listen and respect where you are coming from. I will beat strong and loving for you, for our partnership. This is my renewal and promise to you."
And with that, all thoughts looks at each other and together left the cluttered space that was my mind for peaceful flows of fresh air to breeze through...
Wow, folks, I've been up since 3:30 a.m. I haven't had my coffee (catastrophic GASP!!!!) but I am wide away, and I am OK. Thank you for allowing me to help my many thoughts chill for a bit, and express themselves. They were too loud and they needed a time-out. Funny, as I am processing everything I wrote, I realized, all they needed was probably to be listened to. I gave them space, a little attention by putting them into writing so I can let them go... and flow and move on.
It is the holiday season. Indeed a time for renewal, to be grateful. A time for patience in the middle of stress, reflection and pause in the midst of uncertainty. But most of all, it is a time of hope, faith and love. I have asked my thoughts, all different types of thoughts, from emotional to rational, that moving forward they always remember this conversation they had with each other and the consensus they came to. Their promise to work together in hope, faith and love... May we all have the blessing and opportunity to pause and reflect, assess what's going on in our lives, learn from it and move on in hope, faith and love...
Half an hour more and Starbucks opens... ;) Have a wonderful day.
Monday, December 8, 2014
Simple nudges we can't take for granted...
Simple nudges we can't take for granted...
T'was February 1998 and while the cast ate, not an eye I found staring, not even my date....
LOL, I crack myself up. That's it for the "Night Before Christmas" reference, for this Rican will admit not knowing how the rest goes... just thought it was fun to start that way.
Anyway, what happened February 1998, was pretty cool, at least for me. My cast of 160 plus people, were either enjoying dinner, doing a last sound and light check on stage, getting their make-up and hair done or signing up on the following day's bus date schedule. UP WITH PEOPLE reference for you, mere mortals, you haven't had the blessing, pleasure and honor to know and be part of this amazing organization that gave me the world and so much more...
While all that was swiftly taking place, I snuck out and ran. The show was to start about an hour and half later, and I didn't feel like eating dinner. I wanted to work out. Hmmm, where to go. We are in a high school, somewhere in Florida, and for obvious reasons I didn't have access to the students' gym.
Alas, I went outside and saw the track, and jackpot! The gate was open. I began my sprint...
For all who've known me for years may see that if there's a remote physical resemblance to my mother now, it was never there when I was little. I was chubby and I knew it... I was chubby and I was told, over and over and over again. En español, "ay, estas goooorda." Well, after those awkward years of 12-14 came high school, then college... and the freshman 15, or what it 50? Ask my roommates.
Why write about this? Simple, I am not gorda anymore, but the sting of the comments when I was growing up lingered. This is not an entry about eating disorders or joining the track team. The lesson I want to share is, be kind and watch what and how you say things when addressing another person, your loved one, a child.
Eventually, I had to learn to tune out negative comments and make peace with me and who I am, I got over it. Unfortunately, as I grew out of the "taking it in the face" stage and began to defend myself, at times, even explain myself, and didn't always watch how I was saying what I was saying. I have learned to watch what I say, when I say what I have to say... tongue twisted already? ;) In other words, think a little bit harder before we, I speak.
My son, as a pre-adolescent, hormones out of whack, but magnificent, big-hearted boy, reminds me, "No offence, Mama, but you need to zip it"--- that's when I know I have said enough, or perhaps, I have said something in a way I shouldn't. Thanks, kid, for in the midst of juggling so many balls in the air, the main one labeled "speak from a place of love" slips and I have to quickly find my own balance in order to keep the juggling going.
Back to running... I now have developed an interest and actually, enjoy, a sprint or a jog on almost a daily basis. I do it for my health. I do it because it keeps me fit and I do it because I feel GREAT afterwards, actually happy. There are no plans to join a club, or gym, or to run a marathon anytime soon. My body responds well to this and it shows.
All of this relates, mind you. The running helps me stay in shape and my ticker ticking. I feel good, and I look good. It makes me happy and others around me see it, actually benefit from it. ;) Recently, I was TOLD, you "need" to go for your run... ;) AND all was well afterwards.
Turning 40 has been more eye opening than just adding more anti-wrinkle cream to my maintenance routine. It's been only a month and a day since I began this new decade, which I have stated before, is regarded as the best for women!!! Already I have been reminded of love, friendship, family, and so many blessings to be grateful for. It also has pinched and nudged me not to raise my voice when it is unnecessary, to be patient and not to worry so much about little things that may be little to everyone, except to me, and to always, always speak from a place of love, even when what I am facing a challenge. Another great reminder, which never hurts to hear, is that if a mistake is made, a cruel word is spoken or in an unloving way, own it and apologize and speak from a place of love. Never take for granted those who stand by you, who love you and tell you. They are still around because they do care, for reals. :)
We've dwelled enough... The lesson is simple and a positive one. Well, maybe two lessons braided into one: do what it takes to feel good, healthy, and happy, for it will only allow you to love, act, BE and speak in love.
LOL, I crack myself up. That's it for the "Night Before Christmas" reference, for this Rican will admit not knowing how the rest goes... just thought it was fun to start that way.
Anyway, what happened February 1998, was pretty cool, at least for me. My cast of 160 plus people, were either enjoying dinner, doing a last sound and light check on stage, getting their make-up and hair done or signing up on the following day's bus date schedule. UP WITH PEOPLE reference for you, mere mortals, you haven't had the blessing, pleasure and honor to know and be part of this amazing organization that gave me the world and so much more...
While all that was swiftly taking place, I snuck out and ran. The show was to start about an hour and half later, and I didn't feel like eating dinner. I wanted to work out. Hmmm, where to go. We are in a high school, somewhere in Florida, and for obvious reasons I didn't have access to the students' gym.
Alas, I went outside and saw the track, and jackpot! The gate was open. I began my sprint...
For all who've known me for years may see that if there's a remote physical resemblance to my mother now, it was never there when I was little. I was chubby and I knew it... I was chubby and I was told, over and over and over again. En español, "ay, estas goooorda." Well, after those awkward years of 12-14 came high school, then college... and the freshman 15, or what it 50? Ask my roommates.
Why write about this? Simple, I am not gorda anymore, but the sting of the comments when I was growing up lingered. This is not an entry about eating disorders or joining the track team. The lesson I want to share is, be kind and watch what and how you say things when addressing another person, your loved one, a child.
Eventually, I had to learn to tune out negative comments and make peace with me and who I am, I got over it. Unfortunately, as I grew out of the "taking it in the face" stage and began to defend myself, at times, even explain myself, and didn't always watch how I was saying what I was saying. I have learned to watch what I say, when I say what I have to say... tongue twisted already? ;) In other words, think a little bit harder before we, I speak.
My son, as a pre-adolescent, hormones out of whack, but magnificent, big-hearted boy, reminds me, "No offence, Mama, but you need to zip it"--- that's when I know I have said enough, or perhaps, I have said something in a way I shouldn't. Thanks, kid, for in the midst of juggling so many balls in the air, the main one labeled "speak from a place of love" slips and I have to quickly find my own balance in order to keep the juggling going.
Back to running... I now have developed an interest and actually, enjoy, a sprint or a jog on almost a daily basis. I do it for my health. I do it because it keeps me fit and I do it because I feel GREAT afterwards, actually happy. There are no plans to join a club, or gym, or to run a marathon anytime soon. My body responds well to this and it shows.
All of this relates, mind you. The running helps me stay in shape and my ticker ticking. I feel good, and I look good. It makes me happy and others around me see it, actually benefit from it. ;) Recently, I was TOLD, you "need" to go for your run... ;) AND all was well afterwards.
Turning 40 has been more eye opening than just adding more anti-wrinkle cream to my maintenance routine. It's been only a month and a day since I began this new decade, which I have stated before, is regarded as the best for women!!! Already I have been reminded of love, friendship, family, and so many blessings to be grateful for. It also has pinched and nudged me not to raise my voice when it is unnecessary, to be patient and not to worry so much about little things that may be little to everyone, except to me, and to always, always speak from a place of love, even when what I am facing a challenge. Another great reminder, which never hurts to hear, is that if a mistake is made, a cruel word is spoken or in an unloving way, own it and apologize and speak from a place of love. Never take for granted those who stand by you, who love you and tell you. They are still around because they do care, for reals. :)
We've dwelled enough... The lesson is simple and a positive one. Well, maybe two lessons braided into one: do what it takes to feel good, healthy, and happy, for it will only allow you to love, act, BE and speak in love.
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